Trump Signs Executive Order Against Physics

The chemistry department's version of helicopter parenting! That stick figure professor with the Breaking Bad aesthetic is checking in while students drown in a sea of molecular structures, reaction mechanisms, and a brutal 27/100 organic chemistry score. The blunt "No." response perfectly captures that moment when you realize your benzene rings look more like sad face emojis. Chemistry students worldwide just collectively felt that existential dread of staring at exam questions that might as well be written in hieroglyphics. The real Nobel Prize should go to anyone who survives organic chemistry with their sanity intact!

Religious analogy meets scientific rebuttal in its purest form. Someone tries to equate God with oxygen—both invisible yet essential—but then a lab-coated killjoy shows up with liquid oxygen at -218.8°C, which is very much visible as that lovely blue fluid. The scientist basically says "checkmate" to the whole invisibility argument. Next time someone uses molecular compounds in theological debates, they might want to check their freezing points first. Science: making the invisible visible since... well, science.

The chemistry dating scene is brutal! Here we have an alkali metal (the eager girl) excitedly offering an electron (the strawberry) to a noble gas (the terrified guy). Noble gases are like that one friend who's "totally happy being single" with their perfect electron configuration, while alkali metals are practically throwing their valence electrons at anyone who makes eye contact. The noble gas is freaking out because accepting that electron would ruin its perfectly stable octet. It's basically chemistry's version of commitment phobia! This is why electron affinity is negative for noble gases - they'll literally pay energy to NOT take your electrons. Meanwhile, alkali metals are the desperate ones at the periodic table bar buying drinks for everyone.

This is basically the chemistry version of personality tests, and I'm dying! 🧪 Each lab chemical has been given a hilarious workplace personality type: Phosphoric Acid: The hardworking colleague who everyone thinks is super dangerous but is actually pretty chill. Classic misunderstood workaholic! Xylene: That coworker who's rarely useful but when they show up, everyone's suddenly concerned about their "volatile personality." Handle with caution indeed! Acetone: The popular one who smells nice but might be trouble. Everyone goes to them before asking the weird Xylene person. Office politics at its finest! Water: Essential but completely unappreciated. The IT person who keeps everything running but never gets thanked. Plus they're clingy - classic water hydrogen bonding joke! Methanol: Always mistaken for the fun coworker (Ethanol) but actually prefers being alone. The introvert who keeps getting dragged to happy hour! Dichloromethane: The health-conscious colleague who won't shut up about California cancer warnings. But hey, "We're not in California, buddy!" is chemistry lab humor gold! Bromine Pentafluoride: The terrifying coworker everyone avoids until they're absolutely desperate. We all know someone this unstable! Aqua Regia: The overconfident one with a superiority complex who's actually only good at one thing. Plus they're secretly just two chemicals in a trenchcoat trying to look important!

The eternal academic suffering hierarchy! Biology students whine about physics, while biochemistry students silently endure the double whammy of physics AND chemistry. It's like watching someone complain about a paper cut while you're secretly bleeding out from multiple stab wounds. The scientific suffering Olympics has clear winners, and they're quietly calculating molarity while balancing force equations. 🧪⚛️

The perfect crossover between organic chemistry and Avatar: The Last Airbender doesn't exi— oh wait, here it is! Converting an alkane to an alkene literally removes a "bend" in the molecule by creating a double bond that forces carbon atoms into a rigid, straight alignment. So yes, you quite literally took away its bending. Chemistry students everywhere just snorted coffee through their noses while their non-STEM friends wonder why they're giggling at molecular structures again.