Chemistry Column Relationship Status

Oh, the glorious marriage of chemistry and wordplay! The answer to "What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?" is "2Na" - which sounds exactly like "tuna" when you say it aloud! Sodium's chemical symbol is Na (from its Latin name 'natrium'), so two sodium atoms would be 2Na. It's basically the periodic table trying to tell a dad joke. My fellow lab rats and I have been cackling at this one since Mendeleev was arranging elements on index cards!

This is basically water's dramatic breakup story! The H₂O molecule on the left is having a perfectly stable existence until—BAM—photolysis hits and one hydrogen atom gets yeeted away. The remaining OH radical is left behind like "where did my hydrogen go?!" It's the molecular equivalent of getting ghosted after what seemed like a perfectly good relationship. Chemistry doesn't care about your feelings or molecular bonds apparently.

Nothing says "taking no chances" like showing up in a bomb disposal suit for the most basic chemistry lab exercise ever. The magnificent overkill here perfectly captures that one lab partner who read the safety manual cover-to-cover and took it way too seriously. Meanwhile, dissolving salt in water is literally what happens when you cook pasta. The juxtaposition of extreme protective gear with the most harmless chemical reaction possible is peak scientific irony. Safety first, common sense... maybe fifth?

The eternal physics vs. chemistry showdown, featuring our favorite meme dog! Physicists strut around with their perfect universal laws that supposedly have "no exceptions" (Newton would like a word about quantum mechanics). Meanwhile, chemists are just vibing with their "lawms" that work for exactly two elements while casually ignoring the other 116. This is why physicists think they're the bodybuilders of science while chemists are just happy if their experiment doesn't explode today. Next time a physicist brags about the "elegance" of their equations, just ask them to predict the weather for next Tuesday.

That moment when your Erlenmeyer flask develops a crack and your stomach sinks faster than your academic GPA! Nothing says "ramen for the next month" like the distinctive sound of breaking lab equipment. Fun fact: Some specialty borosilicate glassware can cost upwards of $200 per piece—roughly equivalent to 40 packets of instant noodles or 2 weeks of actual groceries. The silent prayer every undergrad makes before inventory check: "Please don't notice, please don't notice..."

The supreme satisfaction of converting complex amino acid structures into single letters is biochemistry's ultimate power move. While others chase money and status, biochem students are out here flexing their molecular literacy by writing "F" instead of "phenylalanine" and feeling like gods among mortals. Nothing says "I've mastered the protein language" quite like condensing a 15-letter behemoth into a single character without even checking your notes. The rush of correctly identifying valine from its branched side chain? Pure neurochemical ecstasy.