You Cannot Escape Non-Local Correlations

Someone's got their particles in a twist about CERN's collider ambitions! 🔬⚛️ This hot take compares building bigger particle accelerators to... well... compensating for something! The poster is having a meltdown over CERN's $68 billion plan for a larger hadron collider, claiming physicists should focus on better theories first rather than smashing particles at higher energies hoping for discoveries. It's like accusing scientists of playing an extremely expensive game of "hit things harder and see what happens!" In reality, particle physics has always balanced theory and experiment—sometimes you need to smash things at higher energies to discover particles predicted by theory (hello, Higgs boson!) and sometimes unexpected experimental results lead to revolutionary theories. It's not an either/or situation—it's scientific tango!

When the math doesn't work out, just invent a new particle! 😂 This is basically how dark matter was born. Your experiment says 1+1=3? No problem! Just add an invisible, hypothetical "dark number" to make your equations balance, and boom—you're doing theoretical physics! This is why physicists get away with the wildest ideas while mathematicians have existential crises over a misplaced decimal. Next time your bank account doesn't balance, just tell them you've discovered "dark money" that exists but can't be observed directly!

The meme is playing with the cosmic perspective paradox that makes every observer appear to be at the center of the universe. That purplish web-like image? It's the cosmic microwave background radiation map—essentially the baby photo of our universe from all directions. What's hilarious is how it mashes together Aristotle's ancient geocentric model with modern cosmology. Poor Aristotle would have a stroke if he saw we're using his quote to justify something completely different than what he meant. The universe isn't centered on Earth—it's just that light from all directions takes time to reach us, creating the illusion that we're at the center of everything. It's like thinking you're the center of attention at a party just because you can see everyone else. Sorry to burst your anthropocentric bubble, but the universe doesn't revolve around your selfie stick.

Physics students and their undying love for the "spherical cow" approximation! 🐄🔮 The top panel shows the excited physics student proudly presenting their simplified model: "Assume the cow is a perfect sphere with uniform density!" Meanwhile, the nutrition teacher below is completely done with hearing this ridiculous simplification for the nth time. For the uninitiated, the "spherical cow" is physics' most infamous simplification trick. When a problem gets too complicated, just pretend everything is a perfect sphere in a vacuum! Problem solved! (And nutritionists everywhere collectively facepalm.)

For astrophysicists, a factor of 10 is just a rounding error. These cosmic calculators are out here measuring distances in light-years and masses in solar units, so what's a little zero between colleagues? Meanwhile, chemists are having panic attacks when their measurements are off by 0.001%. The beauty of science is that precision is entirely contextual - when you're dealing with black holes and galaxy clusters, being within the right power of 10 is practically surgical precision. But try telling that to your analytical chemistry professor who just failed your titration because you were off by a single drop.

Theoretical physicists: "The multiverse theory suggests infinite parallel universes exist!" Everyone else: "Cool, can we see evidence?" Physicists: *wide-eyed cat panic* "That's the neat part - we can't prove or disprove it! It's simultaneously true and false until observed... which we can't do!" Schrödinger's multiverse, anyone? In some universe, this joke is actually funny!