The eternal battle between oversimplification and overcomplexification of scientific concepts! On one side, we have the adorable simpleton claiming voltage "pushes" electric charge (gasp!). On the other, the quantum physics enthusiast spewing a word salad about "probabilistic existence" and "inescapable framework of atomic barriers" that even Schrödinger's cat would find pretentious.
Meanwhile, in the middle, the actual definition sits smugly: voltage is just the potential difference between two points representing work per unit charge. It's like explaining a doorknob as either "the thing you grab" or "a quantum-mechanical interface facilitating trans-spatial navigation through architectural barriers." Sometimes the middle of the bell curve is where sanity lives!