The Four Horsemen Of Physics Excuses

Every physics student knows these sacred incantations! The four horsemen of exam survival show horses in bizarre locations, each representing a classic excuse: "To be fair nobody did well on it" (the solidarity defense), "The curve will save me" (statistical salvation), "It wasn't in the notes/taught!" (the syllabus loophole), and "At least X did worse than me" (comparative success). These desperate rationalizations appear precisely 0.002 seconds after seeing that first impossible problem. The grading curve—that mystical mathematical mercy that transforms a 43% into a B—is the only thing standing between physics students and total existential collapse.