Quantum Orbitals Or Therapy Session?

Looking at quantum orbital visualizations used to be so straightforward until someone decided to label them as "mental disorders." Now I can't unsee it! Those beautiful hydrogen wavefunctions on the left—representing actual electron probability distributions—versus the right column suggesting they're psychological conditions.

The joke hits because these orbital shapes DO look like bizarre Rorschach tests that a psychiatrist might use to diagnose you. "Hmm, you see the (3,2,2) orbital? Clearly you have commitment issues and an unhealthy relationship with your mother."

Thirty years teaching quantum mechanics and I still can't explain these shapes to undergrads without at least three of them having existential crises. Which, ironically, might actually require therapy.