Physics Doesn't Discriminate Between Projectiles

String theorists and crystal-clutching astrology fans high-fiving over "vibrations determine reality" is the scientific equivalent of finding out your PhD-holding colleague believes in healing crystals. One group spends decades wrestling with 11-dimensional mathematics while the other aligns their chakras based on Mercury retrograde, yet somehow they've found common ground. The irony? String theory remains as experimentally verified as your horoscope predicting "a big change coming." Next week: quantum physicists and psychics unite over "everything is connected, man!"

Content The detection of gravitational waves by LIGO in 2015 Some guy asking what happens if we make the compound interest interval reaaalllly small imgflip.com

Behind every Nobel Prize in physics is just a big dog staring at tiny particles. Billions in funding for CERN and the LHC, and what do we get? Two physicists pointing at dog-shaped objects saying "Look! Particles!" Next time your grant proposal gets rejected, remember that the Higgs boson was probably discovered by someone's golden retriever playing with subatomic toys. The real breakthrough technology in quantum physics? Apparently kibble and a good nose.

Einstein's playing the ultimate physics dad joke here! Instead of giving his weight in normal units like kilograms, he's using "billiard joules" – which is just energy (E) from his famous E=mc² equation! The genius is essentially converting his mass directly into its energy equivalent, because why be conventional when you can flex your revolutionary mass-energy equivalence theory? It's like answering "how tall are you?" with "approximately 0.00000000017 light-seconds" – technically correct but wildly impractical. Scientists: making simple questions unnecessarily complicated since... well, forever!

The nerd joke to end all nerd jokes. Newton looking unimpressed with just "1 Newton" of force (barely enough to move an apple), but absolutely delighted by "1 Giga Newton" (enough force to launch a small rocket). Physics students making unit conversion jokes is how you know they've completely lost touch with normal human interaction. Next thing you know they'll be giggling about megapascals at parties and wondering why they're drinking alone.

Newton judging us from the 1600s with that epic wig and disapproving stare is peak historical shade. The man who invented calculus while in quarantine during a plague would absolutely roast our screen time habits. Funny thing is, Newton never said this - he was too busy discovering gravity after getting bonked by an apple to predict Instagram. And differential equations? He'd probably be solving them between TikTok scrolls just like the rest of us. Next time you're doom-scrolling, just remember Newton's actual third law: For every action of opening social media, there's an equal and opposite reaction of mathematical guilt.