Come Study Physics... We Swear It's Not Sorcery!

Physics departments really need better PR people. "No no, that's not a glowing radioactive rock that could annihilate a city—it's just a... friendly isotope with extra personality!" And those equations? Just mathematical notation, definitely not ancient runes for bending spacetime. Sure, and I suppose that apple floating on magnets isn't suspiciously similar to every witch trial exhibit from the 1600s.

The best part is physicists in labs with their bubbling concoctions insisting they're "running experiments" and not "summoning demons from the quantum realm." Meanwhile, Schrödinger's cat is simultaneously alive, dead, and plotting revenge for that thought experiment.

Next they'll tell us dark matter isn't just wizard dust and quantum entanglement isn't spooky action at a distance. Right. And I'm not failing students for entertainment.