Doomsday Memes

Permanent vacation via quantum mechanics? That's what we call efficiency. The graph shows a particle trapped in a "false vacuum" state that could quantum tunnel to the "true vacuum" state. If our universe exists in a false vacuum and suddenly tunnels to a true vacuum state, the laws of physics would instantly rewrite themselves, obliterating everything we know. No more deadlines, performance reviews, or morning commutes—just the sweet embrace of non-existence. Talk about the ultimate work-life balance solution.

Someone's trying to break the universe again. The wish-granting genie lists standard prohibitions: no death wishes, no love spells, no necromancy. Then comes the physicist with "make protons heavier than neutrons" and suddenly there's a fourth rule. Fun fact: neutrons are actually about 0.14% heavier than protons, which is why free neutrons decay into protons in about 15 minutes. If protons were heavier? Stars wouldn't form, atoms would collapse, and chemistry as we know it would cease to exist. But sure, go ahead and ask the genie to rewrite fundamental physics. Some people just want to watch the world literally disintegrate.

The cosmic fairy godparents have spoken! While spider powers might be denied for safety reasons, altering the proton mass gets an enthusiastic green light. Because why worry about small things like the fundamental forces holding matter together or stars suddenly imploding ? Changing the proton mass would be like swapping out the foundation of your house while you're still inside. Suddenly water wouldn't be water, stars wouldn't be stars, and that chemistry test you studied for? Completely irrelevant. The strong nuclear force would have a meltdown, atoms would fall apart, and the universe as we know it would throw in the towel. But sure, let's see what happens. Science has always advanced through catastrophic cosmic tinkering, right?