Statistical analysis gone wild! When mathematics meets insecurity, you get this masterpiece of questionable calculations. Instead of confronting emotional issues like adults, our protagonist decided to channel his inner Fermi and estimate his ex's sexual mileage. The math is technically sound-ish, but the application is pure emotional gymnastics.
The beauty here is watching someone apply dimensional analysis to relationship problems. Converting intimate encounters into distance units? That's what happens when you take "quantifying the relationship" too literally. Next time, maybe try couples therapy instead of differential equations.