The Pythagoras Sandwich Theorem

The mathematical battle of the century! Someone on Quora is having an existential crisis about their virtual cattle farm. They're confused why multiplying 5 cows by 0 gives them 0 cows. "Where did the 5 go?!" they demand, as if their bovine buddies vanished into a mathematical black hole. It's the perfect showcase of someone who slept through basic arithmetic but is suddenly ready to challenge centuries of mathematical consensus. The cows didn't "go" anywhere, buddy—they were never part of the multiplication result to begin with! That's like asking where your sandwich went after you didn't make it. 🐄➗0=❓

The eternal divide between engineers and physicists in one perfect image! Engineers happily round π to 3 and Euler's number to 3 because hey, close enough for practical applications. Meanwhile, physicists are looking at them like they just committed a mathematical war crime. The horror on that physicist's face is every pure mathematician's soul leaving their body when someone says "eh, just round it."

The math gods have spoken! In the sacred ritual of unit circle learning, we shake hands with π, π/2, π/3, π/4, and π/6... but π/5 gets the purple teletubbies treatment! 😂 Why? Because π/5 doesn't produce those beautiful, clean sine and cosine values that math teachers worship. While the other angles give us nice rational expressions like 1/2 or √3/2, π/5 would force us to deal with the golden ratio's ugly cousin - messy irrational numbers that would make your calculator cry. The teletubbies character swooping in represents the curriculum gods who decided some angles just aren't worth the trauma. Your trig tables thank them for their mercy!

The mathematical equivalent of faking your own death. Multiplying both sides by zero is the nuclear option that turns any complex equation into "0 = 0" — technically true but utterly useless. It's like erasing all evidence of your mathematical crimes and walking away whistling. Every math professor has that one student who thinks they're being clever with this trick, not realizing we invented it back when chalk was considered cutting-edge technology. QED: Quite Easily Destroyed (your professor's will to live).

The guy's not wrong. The Zeroth Law basically says if A = B and B = C, then A = C. It's like discovering your coffee mug is the same temperature as your desk, and your desk is the same temperature as your keyboard, so—shocking revelation—your coffee mug is the same temperature as your keyboard. Physicists really spent centuries figuring that out and then had to awkwardly insert it as the "Zeroth" law because they'd already numbered the others. Classic scientific numbering crisis. Next they'll tell us water is wet.

The mathematical tragedy here is exquisite. Multiplying 123456789 by 8 gives 987654312 instead of the perfect palindrome 987654321. Just one digit off from mathematical perfection. This is basically what happens when your experimental results are 99.999% what you predicted, but that 0.001% error means your paper gets rejected. No onion needed - pure mathematical disappointment makes us cry harder than any allyl propyl disulfide ever could.