Is Infinite Speed Legally Negative?

Calculus students collectively experiencing trauma as someone proposes we start writing second derivatives as "d over d of d over dx." Just what we needed—another way to confuse ourselves at 2AM before the final. Next up: writing integrals as "reverse d over dx but make it spicy." This is why mathematicians aren't allowed to name their own children.

The existential crisis of not finding your birthday in pi's infinite digits. Mathematicians have searched billions of digits without finding patterns, yet here's someone expecting their specific birthday to appear. The search took 0.00005 seconds, which is approximately how long it takes to crush a math enthusiast's dreams. If you're genuinely disappointed by this, perhaps consider searching for your birthday in other irrational constants. Tau might be more sympathetic to your plight.

The mathematical tautology here is absolutely killing me! 🤣 Euclid, the father of geometry, having an existential meltdown over discovering that "identical triangles are identical" is pure mathematical comedy gold. It's like saying water is wet or circles are round! The joke plays on how mathematicians sometimes state the painfully obvious in the most formal way possible. Ancient Greek mathematicians were out there proving things like "if A equals B, then B equals A" and calling it revolutionary. Mathematical proofs can get so circular sometimes that even Euclid's mind was blown by his own logic!

The eternal struggle of math students everywhere! Someone innocently asks how to type equations, and the response is just... Microsoft Word? The silent horror on her face says it all. Anyone who's tried wrestling with Word's equation editor knows that pain. It's like trying to perform surgery with oven mitts. Meanwhile, LaTeX users are watching this conversation and quietly judging from a distance. The real joke is that proper mathematicians would rather write equations by hand on napkins than subject themselves to Word's equation torture chamber.

When your superhero plan hits a mathematical roadblock! The purple guy's plan to "balance the universe" by eliminating half of everything crashes into a fundamental mathematical truth: dividing infinity by 2 still gives you infinity. It's like trying to make your student debt smaller by paying half of it, but the interest keeps it infinite anyway. Mathematicians have been chuckling about this property for centuries while the rest of us just discovered it through cosmic villain logic. This is why you should always consult a mathematician before embarking on universal genocide. Would have saved everyone a lot of trouble!

Behold the hierarchy of historical flexes! Simón Bolívar got a country (Bolivia), Queen Victoria scored an entire era (Victorian), but Euler? That mathematical madlad got the most fundamental constant in mathematics (e) AND a gazillion equations AND a whole method of solving differential equations! While others were conquering land, Euler was conquering REALITY ITSELF with his big brain energy. The ultimate flex isn't ruling people—it's when your name becomes immortalized in every physics and engineering textbook for eternity! *adjusts safety goggles while cackling maniacally*