The Inventor Of Phillips Head Screws

Engineering students start with such optimism! They enter as bright-eyed Luke Skywalkers, ready to harness the mystical powers of calculus and physics. Fast forward to senior year—they've fully embraced the dark side, looking like Kylo Ren begging for sweet release from differential equations and senior design projects. The transformation from "I want to learn the ways of the Force" to "I want to be free of this pain" is basically what happens when you realize those 8 AM thermodynamics classes were actually the easy part. The engineering curriculum doesn't just teach you mechanics; it teaches you suffering.

Engineering students just got murdered by their own university. The tweet essentially says "avoid contact with romantic partners... unless you're an engineering student because, well, we all know you don't have any." The casual brutality with which the University of Alberta acknowledges the stereotypical social desert of engineering student life is both savage and statistically accurate. The data doesn't lie—those differential equations aren't the only things going unsolved in their lives.

Behind closed doors, engineers are secretly performing mathematical witchcraft! That equation 5/π × 3 = 5 is gloriously, deliciously WRONG by any mathematical standard. But in engineering? If it works, it ships! Engineers aren't calculating reality—they're negotiating with it. "Dear Physics, I'll give you this safety factor if you promise not to collapse my bridge." The sacred art of approximation where π sometimes equals exactly 3 and gravity is just a polite suggestion. No wonder they keep the doors closed!

Remember when your curious little brain wanted to understand EVERYTHING about the universe? Fast forward to engineering school, and suddenly you're crying tears of joy when your professor says "just treat it as a point mass and rigid body" instead of calculating every atom's position! 🧠➡️📏 In physics, this simplification is pure bliss - we ignore all the complex internal movements and just pretend objects are either single points or solid chunks that don't deform. It's the difference between writing a 20-page equation and just saying "F=ma" while smugly sipping your coffee. The intellectual glow-up we never expected!

That moment when your mechanical engineering friend's autocorrect reveals their true lab horrors! What they MEANT was "My brothers in Christ we cooked a CULTURE in an autoclave" but their phone had other ideas. Sterilizing equipment: normal science procedure. Sterilizing someone's pet: straight to lab safety jail! This is why you should never text while your hands are still covered in agar!

Those bright-eyed high school seniors touring campus have no idea what's coming. There you are, hanging out a window with your 14-page problem set that's due in 20 minutes, trying to warn them like some deranged prophet. "Run while you still can! They don't tell you about the all-nighters! The coffee doesn't even work anymore!" Meanwhile, the tour guide below is spouting nonsense about "enriching academic experiences" and "vibrant campus life." Sure, if by "vibrant" they mean the hallucinations you get after 72 hours without sleep trying to finish your thermodynamics project.