Dear Engineers, I'm Losing My Constants

When your math homework is due tomorrow but you're also going to the beach! This waterproof calculator is ready for some EXTREME EQUATION SOLVING! 💦➗ The equation on screen (x²+y²=0) is basically saying "I'm either at the origin or in a complex number wonderland!" Mathematicians will pack sunscreen AND their imaginary numbers for this adventure! Next level problem: calculating the optimal angle for your cannonball splash!

The epic arm-wrestling showdown between Canadians and Engineers reveals the hilarious double meaning of "CAD." For engineers, CAD means Computer-Aided Design software they spend countless hours mastering. For Canadians, it's just their currency (Canadian Dollar). Engineers think they're discussing sophisticated 3D modeling tools while Canadians are wondering why anyone would need special software to access their money. It's basically two groups speaking completely different languages while thinking they're having the same conversation!

This professor's email is reaching absolute zero on the enthusiasm scale! Teaching thermodynamic cycles while experiencing his own heat death of motivation after seeing those midterm results. F average? More like F in the chat for this poor educator's will to live! The desperation in asking students about their NPP (Nuclear Power Plant) career plans is the academic equivalent of "if you can't handle thermodynamics, how will you handle preventing the next Chernobyl?!" That existential teacher crisis when you realize your students might someday design the systems keeping us all alive... yet they couldn't even show up to class!

Physics students having an existential meltdown when told they suck at math, while engineering students just casually nodding in agreement is the most accurate representation of academic hierarchy I've ever seen. Physics majors spend years convincing themselves they're mathematical geniuses only to have their identity shattered by a single insult. Meanwhile, engineers already embraced their mathematical mediocrity and built entire bridges with it. The stoic "We know" is engineering in a nutshell—practical enough to admit their limitations and still confident enough to design nuclear reactors. That's not imposter syndrome, that's self-awareness!

Engineering students sitting there with the thousand-yard stare of someone who just calculated the same problem 17 different ways and got 17 different answers. Meanwhile, other majors are dramatically waving their arms about their "stressful" courses. Sure, your 5-page essay on Shakespeare is totally comparable to designing a bridge that won't collapse and kill people. Engineering students aren't even phased anymore—they've transcended normal human stress responses and entered a state of chaotic zen where differential equations and sleepless nights are just Tuesday. Their silence isn't agreement; it's the calm of someone who knows true academic suffering and finds your complaints adorably quaint.

Content If the proof of a theorem is not immediately apparent, it may be because you are trying the wrong approach. Below are some effective methods of proof that might aim you in the right direction. Proof by obviousness: "The proof is so clear that it need not be mentioned." Proof by general agreement: "All in favor?.. Proof by imagination: "Well, we'll pretend it's true. Proof by convenience: "It would be very nice if it were true, so.. Proof by necessity: "It had better be true, or the entire structure of mathematics would crumble to the ground." Proof by plausibility: "It sounds good, so it must be true." Proof by intimidation: "Don't be stupid; of course it's true!" Proof by lack of sufficient time: "Because of the time constrait, I'lI leave the proof to you." Proof by postponement: "The proof for this is long and arduous, so it is given to you in the appendix." Proof by accident: "Hey, what have we here?!" Proof by insignificance: "Who really cares anyway?" Proof by mumbo-jumbo: Wo ф, 3,830*8=8, Proof by profanity: (example omitted) Proof by definition: "We define it to be true.! Proof by tautology: "It's true because it's true." Proof by plagarism: "As we see on page 289,..." Proof by lost reference: "I know I saw it somewhere....' Proof by calculus: "This proof requires calculus, so we'll skip it." Proof by terror: When intimidation fails Proof by lack of interest: "Does anyone really want to see this?" Proof by illegibility: E GED Proof by logic: "If it is on the problem sheet, it must be true!" Proof by majority rule: Only to be used if general agreement is impossible. Proof by clever variable choice: "Let A be the number such that this proof works.." Proof by tessellation: "This proof is the same as the last." Proof by divine word: " And the Lord said, 'Let it be true, and it was true Proof by stubbornness: "I don't care what you say- it is true." Proof by simplification: "This proof reduced to the statement I + 1 = 2." Proof by hasty generalization: "Well, it works for 17, so it works for all reals." Proof by deception: "Now everyone turn their backs. Proof by supplication: "Oh please, let it be true. Proof by poor analogy: "Well, it's just like...' Proof by avoidance: Limit of proof by postponement as it approaches infinity Proof by design: If it's not true in today's math, invent a new system in which it is. Proof by authority: "Well, Don Knuth says it's true, so it must be!" Proof by intuition: "I have this gut feeling.