The Rabbit Is An Energetic Matrix

Fascinating. Someone who thinks the absence of atmospheric light scattering is evidence of a film studio. Next they'll tell us astronauts float because they're hanging from invisible strings. The irony is that without an atmosphere to scatter light, you'd expect exactly what we see - a bright sun against a black backdrop. But sure, NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to fake the moon landing and he insisted on shooting on location.

Taking conspiracy theories to a whole new dimension! A Möbius strip Earth would be the ultimate geographical mindbender - one continuous surface where if you travel far enough in any direction, you'd end up on the opposite side but upside down. Imagine the airport chaos! "Sorry, your flight to Australia has been redirected to Norway's underside." The best part? We'd only need to mow one side of the planet. Think of the savings on lawn care alone! For the topologically curious: a Möbius strip is created by taking a strip of paper, giving it a half-twist, and joining the ends. It has the mathematical property of being non-orientable with only one side and one boundary. Unlike flat-earthers who just removed a dimension, this theory adds a twisted one!

First we had spherical Earth. Then the flat-Earthers came along. Now we've reached peak scientific conspiracy evolution: Hot Dog Earth. Finally, a theory that explains why global warming is happening—we're literally being cooked on a cosmic grill. The curvature is there, just... elongated. Geologists are now studying "condiment tectonics" and debating whether ketchup or mustard belongs on the continental crust. Next week: Pretzel Earth.

Behold! The ultimate scientific experiment that flat-earthers have been hiding from us all along—a spirit level on dirt. Because clearly, if this 3-inch plastic tool shows a bubble in the middle, the entire 24,901-mile circumference of Earth must be flat! Next up: proving the ocean isn't wet by staying dry in your bathtub. The beauty of this "proof" is its elegant simplicity—just ignore pesky things like gravity, curvature mathematics, satellite imagery, and literally every astronaut who's ever existed. But hey, who needs centuries of scientific consensus when you've got a $2 hardware store purchase?

The ancient Egyptians had physics figured out WAY before Newton! This satirical Onion headline brilliantly plays on the eternal debate about pyramid construction techniques while throwing in the "aliens did it" conspiracy theory for good measure. The title is pure physics gold - conservation of energy means the work required to move those massive blocks doesn't depend on the path taken (assuming no friction). Whether you're dragging stones up a ramp or using fancy alien technology, physics demands the same energy payment! Meanwhile, archaeologists everywhere are facepalming at the "aliens" explanation. Those little stick figures with light bulbs for heads? Definitely not suspicious at all... 👽

The Empire's engineering department just got owned by the Flat Death Star Society. In a universe where we can build planet-destroying superweapons, apparently basic geometry is still controversial. Next they'll claim the tractor beam is just magnets and the Force is a government conspiracy. I suppose if you squint hard enough at a sphere, everything looks flat—just like some people's learning curves.