I Saw A New Level Of Pseudoscience On My Facebook Timeline Today

Technically correct: the best kind of correct! That stick figure is indeed at the intersection of the "bird" and "cat" axes on this impromptu coordinate system. The brother has discovered the fundamental truth of taxonomy - if you plot animal characteristics on perpendicular axes, you'll find some creatures exist at unexpected intersections. Is it a cat with wings? A bird with whiskers? Whatever it is, it's mathematically valid and biologically questionable. Darwin would be so confused right now.

A perfect burn delivered via Petri dish. Microbiologists spend hours cultivating bacterial colonies while certain humans can't even cultivate basic social awareness. The irony isn't lost on those of us who've stared at growth media longer than we've made eye contact with other people this week. Just remember - your bacterial cultures might be the most meaningful relationship you have in the lab.

Taxonomists: creating the ultimate identity crisis since forever. Modern crocodiles somehow managed to get classified as both "true crocodiles" (Eusuchia) AND "false crocodiles" (Pseudosuchia) simultaneously. It's like being told you're both adopted and the biological heir to the throne. This taxonomic paradox is what happens when scientists spend too much time naming things and not enough time considering the existential crises they're inflicting on perfectly innocent reptiles. Next time a crocodile tries to eat you, remember it's just working through some serious classification trauma.

The eternal struggle between chemists and biologists summed up perfectly. Chemists flex their intellectual muscles with "D-2-aminopropanoic acid" (complete with structural formula, because of course they do), while biologists just shrug and call it "D-Alanine." Same molecule, different egos. It's like watching someone order a "triple-filtered dihydrogen monoxide with frozen crystalline structures" when they could just ask for ice water. The scientific equivalent of using SAT words in casual conversation—we get it, you're smart.

The biology nerds have struck gold with this one! In DNA transcription, thymine (T) in DNA gets replaced with adenine (A) in RNA. So when DNA goes "TTTTTTT," RNA responds with "AAAAAAA" - just like our cowboy friend screaming in the desert! It's basically molecular biology's version of a call-and-response at a country music concert. The DNA writes the song, and RNA belts out the chorus! Transcription has never been this entertaining!

The cellular equivalent of Thanos using the Infinity Stones to destroy the Infinity Stones. Ribosomes are the molecular machines that read mRNA and translate it into proteins, but plot twist—ribosomes are themselves made of proteins (and rRNA). It's the biological version of bootstrapping your own existence. Nature really said "I'll use the proteins... to make the proteins" and called it a day. Cellular biology's most circular logic since the chicken-egg problem.