You Can't Kill The Cosmic Mystery

Doraemon just discovered the Chandrasekhar limit! When enough mass collapses (about 1.4 solar masses), electron degeneracy pressure can't stop gravity's crush, and boom—black hole time! The cartoon cat's existential physics crisis is peak nerd humor. Even quantum mechanics can't answer why we're using a children's character to contemplate cosmic collapse. The universe's compression limit isn't just theoretical—it's what keeps stars from becoming infinitely dense singularities where physics breaks down completely. Next up on Doraemon's worry list: whether his pocket dimension violates conservation of mass-energy!

Theoretical physicists love to torture each other with impossible tasks. Explaining wormholes verbally is like trying to describe a tesseract to a goldfish. The sheer existential dread of having to explain how spacetime folds without visual aids is enough to make any physicist's soul leave their body. Next time, just ask them to derive string theory using interpretive dance instead.

The great Pluto demotion of 2006 created two types of people: astronomers who embraced the new dwarf planet classification, and the rest of us who memorized "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas" and refuse to switch to "...Nine" nothing. Those of us educated pre-2007 will die on this astronomically incorrect hill. The International Astronomical Union can pry Pluto's planetary status from our cold, dead, scientifically outdated hands.

Oh look, someone skipped thermodynamics class to post on social media! The first person thinks they've discovered some revolutionary cooking hack—just crank up the temperature by 40x and reduce the time proportionally. Genius! Except that's how you get a kitchen full of smoke alarms and a visit from your local fire department. Mike's response is pure gold though. The surface temperature of the sun is around 10,000°F (5,500°C), so he's basically saying "Yeah, I'd love to incinerate my dinner with a personal star, but my budget doesn't quite cover astronomical objects this quarter." And to think Aristotle would be proud of this exchange. Two thousand years of scientific progress to arrive at... this.

First you're all confident thinking black holes just sit there menacingly in space. Then you learn these cosmic vacuum cleaners can zoom through the universe near light speed AND they're invisible? That's not a space fact, that's a horror movie plot! The universe really said "I'm gonna put inescapable gravity wells on wheels and make them invisible." Talk about cosmic jump scares! No wonder the guy's running for his life - can't exactly dodge what you can't see coming at relativistic speeds.

Humanity's cosmic report card: "Shows potential but lacks basic interplanetary etiquette." The hypothetical Galactic Federation is basically that parent who won't let you go to the cool party until you clean your room, except our "room" is an entire planet with climate chaos, nuclear weapons, and reality TV. Advanced civilizations are probably watching us like we're a reality show called "Keeping Up With The Earthlings" and thinking, "Yeah, let's wait until they stop trying to blow themselves up before we introduce faster-than-light travel."