Creationism Really Be Like

When you sign up for "Intro to Physics" thinking you'll learn about cool space stuff, but then the mathematical stairway to hell begins! First you're climbing through algebra, then suddenly it's calculus, then statistics, and before you know it—you're trying to understand how black holes work through equations that might as well be in alien language. The cosmic bait-and-switch is real! Physics professors be like: "You wanted to understand the universe? First understand these 47 differential equations." Meanwhile your brain is just desperately clinging to that railing like it's the last shred of your sanity!

Nothing says "scientific literacy" quite like putting a jet engine on the Moon. The image shows what appears to be an aircraft turbine on the lunar surface with a headline about building a train network there. Fun fact: jet engines need oxygen to combust fuel, and the Moon has approximately zero atmosphere. It's like bringing a fish to the desert and wondering why it's not swimming. Next brilliant idea: solar panels for the dark side of the Moon.

The classic priorities of a space scientist on full display. Personal drama? Meh. But tell them NASA just lost contact with a spacecraft that's been operational since 1977 and is currently 12 billion miles from Earth because someone fat-fingered a command... now THAT'S a real crisis. The Voyager 2 incident actually happened in 2020 when NASA accidentally sent a command that pointed the antenna 2 degrees away from Earth. Took months to fix. Some relationships are just more important than others—especially when one party has been faithfully sending data for 47 years.

Cosmologists have spent decades theorizing about dark energy to explain the accelerating expansion of the universe. But sometimes the simplest explanation is just that the universe is practicing good social distancing from Earth. Can't blame those galaxies for fleeing at increasing speeds—have you seen our Twitter feeds lately? The cosmic equivalent of ghosting us might be the most rational response to humanity's existence. No complex physics needed, just basic self-preservation.

The cosmic joke here is brilliant! James Webb (the whisky) vs. James Webb Space Telescope (the $10 billion galaxy hunter). After a few shots of this Scotch, astronomers might see entire new universes without even needing the telescope! The label even promises "ethereal quality" - coincidence? I think not! Perhaps NASA's secret to discovering those distant galaxies isn't advanced optics but just a well-stocked liquor cabinet. Drink responsibly though - those "blended" galaxies might just be your vision doubling.

Sharks swimming around like "I remember when Saturn didn't even have its jewelry yet." These ancient predators have been cruising the oceans since 450 million years ago—that's over 200 million years before dinosaurs! Trees only showed up 360 million years ago, and Saturn's iconic rings? Just 100 million years old—practically brand new in shark time. Next time you're worried about getting old, remember there are sharks out there who've watched entire planetary features come into existence. Talk about the ultimate "back in my day" flex.