Creationism Really Be Like

The Soviets really said "Venus? Send our best scientists and equipment!" and then "Mars? Eh, just whack it with a hammer and see what happens." Fun space fact: The USSR's Venera missions were engineering marvels that survived Venus's hellish 900°F surface and crushing pressure for up to 127 minutes. Meanwhile, their Mars landers either crashed, lost contact immediately, or transmitted a partial image before dying. Soviet engineering priorities were clearer than their Mars photos!

The duality of sci-fi fans. Excited for new content but ready to dissect every scientific inaccuracy with surgical precision. Sound in space? Physically impossible due to vacuum conditions. Yet we'll still watch 47 episodes in one weekend while muttering corrections under our breath. It's not pedantry—it's a lifestyle.

NASA's been pulling the wool over our eyes for DECADES! The lunar surface isn't made of regolith—it's clearly a giant floating seal with helium-induced buoyancy! Those craters? Whiskers! The Sea of Tranquility? Just a particularly smooth spot on our celestial marine mammal! Think about it—have you ever seen the moon and a seal in the same room? EXACTLY. Next time there's a full moon, listen carefully... you might just hear a distant "arf arf" echoing through the cosmos!

The Apollo 11 crew reunion is looking a bit... skeletal . While Armstrong and Aldrin get all the glory in the historical spotlight, poor Michael Collins is treated like the forgotten middle child of space exploration. He literally orbited the Moon alone while his buddies became legends by taking small steps and giant leaps. The meme perfectly captures how history remembers the Apollo 11 mission - two celebrated astronauts and that other guy who... um... did something important probably? Collins spent 21 hours in complete isolation, further from any human than anyone had ever been, but gets about as much recognition as the lunar module's cup holder. Talk about social distancing before it was cool!

The universe's total mass-energy is 4.2×10 69 J ? Come on, that can't be a coincidence! The cosmic calculator clearly has a sense of humor. Some physicist was crunching numbers for years only to discover the universe is basically one giant "nice" joke. Even the citation [224] looks suspiciously like "2^2×4" = 16 = 4². The universal constants are secretly just elaborate dad jokes written in scientific notation.

The ultimate privilege paradox! Rich folks saying "money doesn't matter" from their yacht, beautiful people claiming "looks don't matter" while being photographed for magazine covers... and then there's astrophysicists, the only honest ones in the room, desperately hunting for dark matter because it's literally the missing piece of the cosmic puzzle! It's like the universe is playing hide-and-seek with 85% of its mass, and scientists are the only ones admitting they can't find what matters most. The cosmic irony is that the things people claim "don't matter" are precisely what gave them the platform to make such ridiculous statements in the first place!