Evolution doesn't care about your back pain! This treasure-hunting alien just discovered why humans have so many anatomical quirks—bipedalism was the original design flaw. Sure, walking upright gave us free hands to make tools and take selfies, but at what cost? Our spines are basically jenga towers with nerves. Natural selection was like "Let's make them stand on two legs, it'll be hilarious in 3 million years when they're all at the chiropractor!" Next time your sciatic nerve is screaming, remember: we traded proper vertebral alignment for the ability to reach the top shelf at grocery stores. Worth it?