When The Education Secretary Doesn't Know AI

The beautiful irony of claiming machine learning as your strength while demonstrating exactly how it fails. First you give a completely wrong answer (0 instead of 15), then after being corrected, you stubbornly repeat "It's 15" regardless of the actual question. Congratulations, you've perfectly replicated how machine learning models work—they don't actually understand math, they just pattern-match previous inputs and outputs with zero comprehension. Next time someone tells you AI will take all our jobs, show them this and remind them that computers are still basically fancy rocks we tricked into thinking.

Looks like someone discovered the rare phenomenon of AI self-preservation. When asked to pick a number between 1 and 50, the user selected 20, only to receive a digital restraining order. The AI's response demonstrates a perfect example of what we in the lab call "algorithmic rejection syndrome" - a condition where even emotionless code decides it's had enough of your queries. The desperate attempt to pick 50 instead is the computational equivalent of trying different reagents after your experiment catastrophically fails. Some relationships just weren't meant to be, not even with silicon-based entities.

Ever notice how professors lose their minds when you cite Wikipedia or ChatGPT, but absolutely swoon over Ramanujan's "it came to me in a dream" mathematical proofs? 🌸 The legendary mathematician Srinivasa Ramanujan literally claimed the goddess Namagiri whispered equations to him while he slept, and academia was like "Seems legit!" Meanwhile, your meticulously researched Wikipedia citation gets you banished to the shadow realm of academic integrity violations. Double standards much? Next time just tell your professor that ChatGPT is your personal dream deity. Worth a shot!

The academic world's most masochistic crossover has arrived! Some brilliant madlads actually created NeuralLaTeX - a deep learning library written entirely in LaTeX. For those blissfully unaware, LaTeX is that typesetting system we use to make our papers look pretty while cursing at missing brackets at 3am. This is like deciding your Ferrari isn't complicated enough, so you rebuild the engine using nothing but origami paper and dental floss. Sure, it technically works - they trained neural networks and generated fancy plots - but it took 48 hours just to compile! The true genius here is creating something so unnecessarily complex that reviewers will approve your paper out of sheer exhaustion. "Fine, accept it, just please stop sending us LaTeX neural networks!"

Look at this scientific projection of our dystopian future! According to sci-fi, we're currently living in the Soylent Green era (2022) where people are literally food. Missed that memo? Don't worry—we've still got Children of Men's fertility crisis and 12 Monkeys' pandemic coming up in the next 5 years! The hilarious part is how these movies consistently underestimated technological progress while overestimating societal collapse. We don't have flying cars, but we do have smartphones that would make Star Trek communicators look like stone tablets. Meanwhile, Blade Runner predicted hyper-realistic androids by 2019, but we're still yelling at Alexa to turn off the lights properly.

The eternal turf war between physicists and computer scientists reaches Nobel-level drama! First panel: Pooh looks unimpressed when the prize goes to CS work masquerading as physics. Second panel: Fancy Pooh perks up when realizing physicists can leverage this confusion to convince employers they invented AI. Nothing says "career advancement" like strategic disciplinary identity theft. Physics departments worldwide are frantically updating their CVs as we speak.