This Is How Scientists Flex In The Afterlife!

Nothing says scientific immortality like discovering an element that disappears faster than free food in a graduate lounge! These physicists are celebrating their 0.00134-millisecond claim to fame—a completely useless, highly radioactive element that will be forgotten by everyone except the periodic table. But hey, their names will be etched in scientific history forever, right next to elements like Flerovium and Oganesson that nobody can pronounce or use. Scientific glory at its finest: spend decades of research to discover something that exists for less time than it takes to say "tenure committee."

The driver complains about fog while literally driving through the mathematical expression f(g(x)) — the composition of functions that haunts every calculus student's nightmares. This is peak math humor for people who've survived differential equations. The expression f(g(x)) represents a function composition where g is applied first, then f is applied to the result. Just like actual fog obscures your vision, function composition obscures what's happening to your poor variable x as it gets passed through multiple operations. No wonder the driver can't see where they're going — they're lost in a calculus hellscape!

Engineers who use Computational Fluid Dynamics (CFD) software fall into three distinct camps on this bell curve of sanity: On the far left (0.1%), we have the "Pretty color :)" crowd who just enjoy making rainbow-colored fluid simulations without understanding the math. In the middle (34% on each side), we find normal engineers using CFD as intended - you know, to solve actual problems. And on the far right (0.1%), there's the "Pretty vectors" gang who've descended into obsession with the mathematical beauty of vector fields. But the true galaxy-brain move? Spending your entire Master's degree simulating a cow as an ideal gas with k-epsilon turbulence. Because nothing says "I've mastered fluid dynamics" like turning farm animals into mathematical abstractions!

When the teacher says "be creative" but you're running on 2 hours of sleep and zero inspiration! This student took malicious compliance to a whole new level by simply writing "x = 7" as their equation that's true when x = 7. I mean, technically they're not wrong! It's like asking "name a fruit" and answering "banana" - devastatingly correct in the most boring way possible. The teacher's "Really?" in red pen is the mathematical equivalent of a facepalm. Sometimes the simplest solution is just staring you right in the face!

Oh, the eternal struggle of every math enthusiast! Pure mathematics gets all the glory—bathed in the golden light of elegant proofs and beautiful equations. Meanwhile, statistics lurks in the shadows with its p-values, null hypotheses, and confidence intervals that make even seasoned mathematicians break into a cold sweat. The truth? Mathematics is like that parent who has a favorite child. Calculus? Algebra? Number theory? Come bask in the light! Statistics? Go to your room and don't come out until you've normalized your distributions! Every math department has that one hallway nobody talks about... where statisticians huddle together muttering about "sufficient sample sizes" while the pure mathematicians pretend not to know them at faculty parties.

Behold, the terrifying threat of mathematical notation! Someone call Homeland Security—we've got a person wielding derivatives at 30,000 feet! The true terrorist organization isn't what you think... it's Al-Gebra , armed with weapons of math instruction! This poor mathematician was just trying to solve some differential equations (you know, those squiggly symbols with dx/dy that describe how things change) when Karen next to him thought he was plotting in Arabic. Turns out the only thing he was plotting was a function on the coordinate plane. The real crime here? Mathematical profiling.