The Great Science Channel Extinction Event

Remember when we'd watch explosions in the name of science instead of people catching bass? The Great Channel Evolution Experiment has failed spectacularly! Once upon a time, Discovery Channel was our laboratory for curiosity—blowing things up, testing urban legends, and exploring the cosmos. Now it's devolved into "Watch This Guy Catch a Fish" and "Drama in the Wilderness: Season 47." It's like watching Einstein's brain slowly transform into a reality TV contestant's. The experimental hypothesis "educational content can survive on cable" has been BUSTED! *maniacal scientist laugh* The control group (History Channel) isn't doing any better with its "Ancient Aliens Built My Swimming Pool" programming. We demand the return of our explosive science goodness!