Americans, Would It Kill You To Use The Metric System?

Nothing captures quantum superposition quite like a funeral where the deceased is simultaneously attending their own service. That's Schrödinger's cat for you—dead and alive until someone bothers to check the box. The real tragedy? The catering bill had to account for both possibilities. Just imagine the awkward conversation: "So... how many plates should we prepare?" "Yes."

Holy experimental design, Batman! 🦇 Scientists discovered that pregnant women get nearly TWICE as many seat offers when accompanied by a caped crusader! The Batmanian Effect in social psychology is real! Turns out fear of vigilante justice is a stronger motivator than basic human decency. Next up: testing if The Joker has the same effect, or if he just empties the entire subway car. The p-value doesn't lie, folks - Batman doesn't just fight crime, he fights transit inequality!

The eternal love triangle of theoretical physics! String Theory and Loop Quantum Gravity have been competing for decades to unify physics, but String Theory keeps getting all the attention and funding. Meanwhile, Loop Quantum Gravity stands alone, wondering why nobody appreciates its elegant approach to quantizing spacetime without all those extra dimensions. The scientific equivalent of watching your ex flirt with someone new at the conference after-party. Even Einstein would need therapy after this drama.

Someone claims their hematite ring broke because it "absorbed too much negative energy" from their life, but the skeptical detective at the bottom knows what's up! Hematite (Fe 2 O 3 ) is indeed brittle with a Mohs hardness of 5.5-6.5, making it prone to breaking from regular mechanical stress—you know, like wearing it on your finger . The ring didn't absorb your bad vibes; it absorbed the consequences of basic materials science! That's like saying your ice cream melted because it absorbed too many sad thoughts rather than acknowledging thermodynamics exists. Physics: 1, Crystal healing: 0.

Gambling with the periodic table just got real. These dice made from pure Cu (copper), Fe (iron), Zn (zinc), and Ag (silver) are what happens when chemists design casino equipment. The guy below clearly understands the element of risk here - those dice are worth more than most lab budgets. Imagine rolling snake eyes with silver and having to explain to your grant committee why you literally threw money across the table. Chemistry roulette: where you win some electrons, lose some valence bonds.

Oh sweet infinity tears! This mathematical prank is pure GENIUS! 🤓 The "proof" claims to find the biggest real number by starting with 0.999... (which equals 1), then doing some algebraic gymnastics to create a "bigger" number. But here's the cosmic joke - in mathematics, there IS NO biggest real number! For every real number, you can always add 1 to get a bigger one. It's like claiming you've found the last digit of π! Mathematicians are currently rolling on the floor and clutching their calculators in hysterics. This is the mathematical equivalent of dividing by zero - it breaks the universe, but with STYLE!