Free Science! (Until You Hit The Paywall)

Getting a biology degree is like performing a perfect PCR only to discover your funding got cut. The job market looks at your resume the same way peer reviewers look at your methods section—with crushing disappointment. Four years of memorizing metabolic pathways just to end up explaining to relatives why you can't diagnose their rash at Thanksgiving dinner. But hey, at least you can identify all the plants in the park while crying on that bench.

The scientific method just left the chat! 😂 Nothing screams "I'm totally making this up" like someone who gets defensive when asked for evidence. Real scientists LOVE being asked for sources—it's basically our love language! We thrive on receipts, citations, and peer-reviewed papers. Next time someone responds with "do your own research" instead of sharing their sources, you can be pretty sure their "facts" came from the University of Trust Me Bro. Scientific integrity for the win!

The eternal curse of particle physics: spending billions on a fancy new collider only to get the same boring results. That sad thumbs-up cat is every physicist who secretly hoped to break physics and instead got... *checks notes*... perfect agreement with a 50-year-old theory. AGAIN. Funding committees be like: "So you want another $10 billion to confirm what we already know?" Meanwhile, string theorists are in the corner muttering "just wait until we can smash particles at Planck energy" for the 40th consecutive year.

The physics hierarchy strikes again! On the left, we have the quantum computation crowd with their buffed-up Doge flexing about two-level quantum systems and 500 papers. Meanwhile, the high-energy physicist on the right—who can actually handle General Relativity, Quantum Field Theory, and CP violation calculations—sits there like a humble regular Doge begging for PhD funding. This is basically academic funding in a nutshell. The flashy quantum computing field drowns in venture capital and government grants, while the poor souls doing the fundamental physics heavy lifting can barely afford ramen. The universe might be expanding, but those high-energy physics budgets sure aren't!

The ultimate academic heist! Corrupting your own thesis file to buy precious extra days is the grad school equivalent of Ocean's Eleven. The beauty is in its simplicity - submit an "accidentally" corrupted file, then frantically "fix" it while actually writing the thing you claimed was already done. Pure academic survival tactics that professors secretly respect because half of them did the same thing back in their day. The statute of limitations on thesis fraud apparently expires at 7 years - congratulations on your successful academic crime!

The infamous AI feedback loop in all its glory! This meme brilliantly captures the technical nightmare of model cannibalism - when AI systems are fed their own outputs as training data. It's like trying to learn French by repeatedly running English through Google Translate and then studying the increasingly garbled results. The final panel's expression is every ML engineer realizing their algorithm is now just amplifying its own hallucinations and biases. This is basically digital inbreeding for neural networks!