Time Club: First Rule Of Temporal Dynamics

Executive orders can't override the laws of physics, no matter how confidently you hold up that folder. Plasma—the fourth state of matter that makes up 99% of the visible universe—just got ghosted harder than a grad student's funding application. Next week: gravity becomes optional on Tuesdays, and entropy is now illegal because "things getting messy is very bad for America."

Behold! The eternal mathematical paradox in physical form! This DIY contraption is the perfect metaphor for trying to sneak division by zero into your calculations. You've got a homemade perpetual motion machine that's about as functional as claiming 5÷0=unicorns. The LED light and spinning mechanism are just sitting there, ready to break the laws of physics—much like how division by zero breaks the laws of mathematics! It's that moment when your professor asks "show your work" and you've constructed an elaborate device to distract from the mathematical heresy hiding in your equations. Mathematical sleight of hand at its finest!

The classic physics textbook simplification meets reality. That seagull sitting on the airplane wing has clearly found the one spot where air resistance actually is negligible. Meanwhile, the entire aviation industry exists solely because air resistance is very much not negligible. The bird's smug expression says it all: "Your equations lied to me, humans."

Physics and chemistry textbooks have the shelf life of milk left in a hot car, but math books? Those ancient tomes could survive nuclear winter. While physicists dismiss anything pre-Newton as medieval nonsense and chemists scoff at texts predating electron discovery, mathematicians are over here using theorems from 300 BCE like they were published yesterday. Pythagoras would walk into a modern classroom and be like, "Yep, that's my triangle thing. Still works!" Math isn't less evolved—it's just built different. It's the cockroach of academic disciplines: unchanging, indestructible, and guaranteed to outlive us all.

Ever notice how time travel fantasies always involve family reunions or saving historical figures? Not for the true intellectuals! While normies waste time meeting their descendants (awkward), legends go straight for the good stuff—crashing Stephen Hawking's legendary time traveler party. For those who missed this brilliant bit of scientific trolling: Hawking actually threw a party for time travelers in 2009, but only announced it AFTER the party ended. If you showed up, you proved time travel works! Nobody came (allegedly), which Hawking cited as "experimental evidence" against time travel. The ultimate physicist party trick!

The infamous "pen through paper" trick - Hollywood's favorite way to defy the laws of physics! 🚀 In literally EVERY sci-fi show, someone casually performs this impossible feat to demonstrate advanced technology or alien powers. Meanwhile, actual physicists are screaming at their screens because you'd need to break several fundamental laws of matter to pull this off! The pen would need to either quantum tunnel through the paper (requiring impossibly precise alignment of atoms) or temporarily convert to energy and back. But sure, let's just stick a pen through paper and call it "future tech" - much easier than writing actual science! 😂