The Rapid Decay Of Academic Knowledge

Chemistry pickup lines just hit different! The meme shows Squidward looking suspiciously excited because someone claimed they're "only into d z 2 orbitals." For the uninitiated, d z 2 is one of five d-orbitals that describe where electrons might be found in atoms—and this particular one has a distinct shape with two lobes and a donut-shaped ring in the middle. So basically, she's saying she's only into a specific electron configuration, but the shape is... well... rather phallic. No wonder Squidward's running around like he just discovered free real estate in electron cloud form! Chemistry students everywhere are simultaneously groaning and forwarding this to their study groups.

Oh, the beautiful irony of physics problems! While rich people claim money doesn't matter (with billions in their accounts) and beautiful people say beauty doesn't matter (while getting paid for their looks), physicists are over here creating entire fantasy worlds where fundamental forces just... don't exist? Every physics student knows the pain of reading "ignore friction" or "assume air resistance is negligible" right before calculating how a spherical cow moves through a vacuum. It's like telling someone drowning that water doesn't matter. Sure, Jan. Next you'll tell me gravity is just a suggestion!

The ultimate long-term commitment joke! This meme plays on the mind-blowing stability of protons, which have an estimated half-life of 10 34 years. The prankster waits patiently on day 1, checks in at day 365, and is still waiting at 1.67×10 34 years later—essentially outlasting the universe itself for the punchline. It's like setting up a whoopee cushion and waiting until the heat death of the universe for someone to sit on it. Talk about dedication to the bit! Physicists have yet to observe proton decay, making this possibly the least efficient prank in cosmic history.

CERN scientists be like: "Hold my particle accelerator!" The Large Hadron Collider is basically the scientific equivalent of smashing two shopping carts together at supersonic speeds and hoping a new universe falls out. Physicists spend billions of dollars to yeet protons at each other near light speed, then act surprised when they discover exotic particles. It's like cooking by throwing random ingredients into a blender and calling yourself a Michelin chef when something edible comes out. The "Emergency Meeting" is just them frantically trying to explain why they need another few billion to keep playing subatomic bumper cars.

Just your average Tuesday in Physics 101! Some poor undergrad probably tried to make a perpetual motion machine for extra credit and accidentally created a swirling entropy vortex instead. The universe is now questioning its fundamental constants. The second law of thermodynamics is sitting in the corner having an existential crisis while entropy decreases spontaneously. Physics professors worldwide felt a disturbance in the force, like millions of textbooks suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly invalidated. Breaking thermodynamics is like dividing by zero—it's all fun and games until you create a hyperdimensional singularity in your dorm room. Campus maintenance is NOT equipped for that kind of cleanup.

The Moody-Diagram Hulk has spoken truth! Engineering students everywhere just collectively shuddered. That friction factor chart is the ultimate nemesis - logarithmic scales in multiple directions, curves that barely distinguish themselves, and tiny numbers that require superhuman vision. The irony is perfect - you need Hulk-level strength just to interpret fluid dynamics data without having a breakdown. Even the mighty Hulk himself is overwhelmed by these "confusing lines" that determine whether your pipe flow is laminar, turbulent, or just plain impossible to calculate without crying.