The Physics Department Hierarchy

Engineering professors love teaching us elaborate mathematical operations that ultimately lead nowhere. This mathematical journey takes you through division, multiplication by gravitational acceleration, multiplication by π, division by Euler's number, and finally applying sine—only to land you right back where you started. It's the mathematical equivalent of walking in a perfect circle while wearing a hard hat and looking serious. The real engineering lesson? How to make simple things unnecessarily complex while maintaining a straight face.

Einstein says intelligent people ignore things, and then there's physicists ignoring air resistance to make their equations work! That giant brain Pepe represents every physics student who just decided friction doesn't exist today. Sure, in the real world your ball would eventually stop rolling, but in Physics Fantasy Land™ it'll roll forever! Next up: ignoring gravity to make my coffee float directly into my mouth. That's how intelligence works, right?

Taking the states of matter to a whole new level of cool! Regular liquids flow, but hyper-fluids? They flow with style . In physics, superfluids actually exist - they have zero viscosity and can do wild things like climb up walls and escape containers. Just like how "The Cooler Daniel" upgraded his look with those shades, superfluids upgraded their molecular behavior by reaching temperatures near absolute zero. They're literally and figuratively the coolest state of matter!

The ultimate comeback to pop culture icons! While celebrities come and go, the subatomic trio has been holding atoms together since the dawn of time. Protons bringing the positive charge, neutrons keeping things neutral, and electrons orbiting around like they're perpetually avoiding commitment. The irony is delicious - we're all just walking collections of these microscopic celebrities, yet most people couldn't name all three if their lives depended on it. Meanwhile, they're responsible for literally everything in existence. Talk about being underappreciated despite having universal influence!

Someone's been watching too many flat-Earth documentaries while studying cosmology! The Cosmic Microwave Background isn't some cosmic ocean you can sail to—it's literally the oldest light in the universe, radiation left over from about 380,000 years after the Big Bang. It's EVERYWHERE, surrounding us in all directions like a cosmic baby photo. Trying to sail to the "edge" of the CMB is like trying to sail to the edge of time itself! Next they'll be asking if we can take selfies with the Big Bang! 🤪

The eternal struggle between theoretical physics and practical engineering captured in one brutal roast. The physicist spends years contemplating quarks and cosmic heat death while drowning in student debt and existential dread. Meanwhile, the engineer is out there approximating π=3 because "close enough," getting rich, and actually building stuff that works. Nothing says "academia vs. industry" quite like choosing between writing anxiously in pencil or confidently counting squares under a curve because integration is for nerds with too much time on their hands. The true irony? Both think they're better than the other while secretly wondering if they made the right career choice.