The Derivation Delusion

Look at France casually releasing 11,400 units of tritium into the English Channel while everyone else is trying to keep their numbers down! That's not a nuclear power plant, that's a tritium dispensary with a "free samples" sign. The French are over here playing radioactive hot potato with the Channel like "Bonjour, would you like some spicy water with your fish and chips?" Meanwhile, China's Sanmen plant is sitting at 20 units looking suspiciously innocent. "We're eco-friendly!" Sure, and I'm Marie Curie without the radiation poisoning.

The true villain of every physics student's nightmare! Judge Claude Frollo from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame threatening "When I'm done with you, I will have |W|" is pure evil genius. That vertical bar notation means he's calculating the absolute value of your work in a physics problem! 😱 Anyone who's lost points for not showing their work or miscalculating the magnitude of a vector knows this pain. Your professor doesn't just want the answer—they want to see you SUFFER through every step of that work! The academic equivalent of "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little free body diagram too!"

Hard matter physicists turning down soft matter physics like it's a sketchy drug deal! The guy's rejecting that pink foam (probably some polymer or colloid) while keeping his precious crystals safe on a plate. The hierarchy in physics is real - crystallographers and quantum folks looking down on anyone studying squishy things. Meanwhile, soft matter physicists are over here making your shampoo work better and explaining why ketchup gets stuck in the bottle. But sure, keep your rigid lattices and pretend that's the only "real physics." 🙄

The perfect visual representation of coordinate systems that no textbook could ever deliver. On the left, we have a bunny squished into a perfect rectangular prism—the Cartesian coordinates (x,y,z) in all their rigid glory. On the right, the same bunny in its natural spherical form (r,θ,φ), looking much more comfortable. This is what happens when mathematicians let their pets demonstrate transformation equations instead of writing them on the board. Next week: the bunny demonstrates non-Euclidean geometry by disappearing into a black hole.

Engineers don't need an invitation to start approximating EVERYTHING! That calculator, those scribbled equations, and the iconic hard hat are basically an engineer's natural habitat. The beauty of engineering is making complex problems solvable by saying "close enough" to the math gods! Next time your engineer friend says "approximately," just know they've probably replaced π with 3 and ignored air resistance to make their life easier. It's not laziness—it's efficiency!

The first-ever image of a black hole wasn't just a groundbreaking scientific achievement—it was apparently Snoop Dogg taking a massive hit all along. Turns out the singularity at the center of M87 that required a planet-sized telescope array and petabytes of data to capture is just what happens when you've got that astronomical kush. Scientists spent decades developing the technology to peer 55 million light-years into space, while Snoop's been demonstrating the same physics with his lighter for years. Einstein never mentioned that spacetime gets extra curved when you're blazed.