Stop Resisting Arrest

The comic brilliantly contrasts delicious lickable items with polonium-210, which is basically death on a stick. Polonium-210 is an alpha-emitting radioactive isotope that's roughly 250,000 times more toxic than hydrogen cyanide. One microgram is enough to kill you painfully. The punchline about "Andrea stopping nuclear war by licking a warhead" is darkly hilarious because it's scientifically preposterous. First, nuclear warheads don't typically contain polonium, and second, anyone getting close enough to lick weapons-grade material would be dead before they could become a folk hero. This is exactly why we keep telling undergrads to stop tasting chemicals in the lab. There's always that one student who thinks the "no eating in the lab" rule is just a suggestion...

The escalating enlightenment of physics problem-solving! 🧠✨ Starting with reasonable approximations like π=3.14 or g=10 m/s² is Physics 101. But then we spiral into madness! "Assume constant velocity" (as if acceleration doesn't exist) and "perfectly straight lines" (in this curved universe? please!). Then we reach peak physics absurdity: "ignore air resistance" (a classic), followed by the truly transcendent "assume the penguin is spherical" (because why model complex shapes when spheres exist?!). The final boss of physics shortcuts? "Ignore all forces, objects, and mass" – congratulations, you've simplified your problem into non-existence! This is how we get answers that are technically correct... if you squint and tilt your head just right. 😂

When someone drops the "electrons are just waves" bomb at a party, that's the exact face physicists make. The wave-particle duality paradox strikes again! Poor guy is having an existential crisis because electrons DO have mass (about 9.1 × 10^-31 kg) despite also behaving like waves. This is quantum mechanics' favorite party trick - making perfectly reasonable people question reality since 1924. The look of pure quantum suffering on his face is priceless. He's definitely thinking about Schrödinger's cat right now.

When you're begging for the fancy ATLAS detector at CERN but Mom points to the cosmic ray detector you cobbled together in the basement! 😂 The top shows the complex ATLAS particle detector used at the Large Hadron Collider to smash protons and discover exotic particles like the Higgs boson. Meanwhile, "at home" is just a basic cosmic ray track visualization that's basically the particle physics equivalent of a potato battery science project. Budget particle physics is still particle physics, I guess? *maniacal scientist laughter*

Dating in the STEM world is just a series of increasingly intimidating equations! From your crush's elegant Euler's Identity to her father's normal distribution (judging your statistical significance, no doubt), the family tree just gets more mathematically terrifying. But the real punchline? While her first love gets the famous Einstein equation, you're stuck with the sum of all natural numbers equaling -1/12 — a result so counterintuitive it seems like mathematical gaslighting. Nothing says "you're insignificant" quite like being represented by a mathematical oddity that seems wrong but is actually used in string theory. At least you're theoretically important... somewhere in the multiverse.

Engineers everywhere just felt a disturbance in the Force. Using π = 5? That's like saying water isn't wet or gravity is just a suggestion. Some poor mathematician is hyperventilating into a paper bag right now. The real comedy here is that someone actually typed this with a straight face, probably the same person who rounds 9.8 m/s² to "about 10" and thinks significant figures are just a suggestion. If you ever want to torture a physics professor, just show them this problem and watch their soul leave their body.