Newton's First Law Of Unfortunate Events

This student essay is what happens when you combine deadline panic, Wikipedia, and a complete disregard for historical accuracy. Apparently, Bohr developed his atomic model at Cambridge (nope, Copenhagen), experimented with "the cell" (wrong science, buddy), and was simultaneously fleeing Nazis while they hadn't yet invaded Denmark. My favorite part is how Rutherford "deserted" Bohr, as if they were in some physics soap opera. The cherry on top? Claiming Bohr won only one Nobel Prize "in physics" like that's somehow disappointing. This paper deserves a Nobel Prize in Creative Fiction.

Oh the irony! The deeper physicists dive into quantum weirdness, the more they start questioning EVERYTHING. Einstein, Planck, Schrödinger—all these brilliant minds stared into the cosmic abyss until the abyss winked back and said "maybe there's more than equations here?" Meanwhile, this tweet author is all "these GENIUSES who revolutionized our understanding of reality must be COMPLETE WOOTARDS." Sure, buddy. Because nothing says scientific thinking like dismissing the existential musings of people who literally redefined the universe! Next up: criticizing fish for believing in water.

The meme brilliantly combines quantum physics with biblical storytelling! It portrays Schrödinger's famous quantum superposition thought experiment applied to Jesus's resurrection. In quantum mechanics, Schrödinger proposed that a cat in a sealed box with a radioactive trigger could exist in a superposition state—simultaneously alive and dead until observed. Similarly, this "forgotten disciple" suggests Jesus exists in quantum superposition while sealed in his tomb—both alive and dead until someone rolls away the stone. The scientific paradox colliding with religious narrative creates a delightfully absurd intersection of ancient faith and modern physics. Quantum theology at its finest!

When you realize you can double your energy output with one simple trick! The famous equation E=mc² revolutionized physics by showing mass can be converted to energy. But wait—what if we just... doubled it? E'=2mc would give us TWICE the energy! Physics professors hate this one weird trick! 🤯 It's like discovering you can get double the coffee by ordering two cups instead of one. Revolutionary! Next up: curing world hunger by eating twice as much food. 👨‍🔬

Chemistry pickup lines just hit different! The meme shows Squidward looking suspiciously excited because someone claimed they're "only into d z 2 orbitals." For the uninitiated, d z 2 is one of five d-orbitals that describe where electrons might be found in atoms—and this particular one has a distinct shape with two lobes and a donut-shaped ring in the middle. So basically, she's saying she's only into a specific electron configuration, but the shape is... well... rather phallic. No wonder Squidward's running around like he just discovered free real estate in electron cloud form! Chemistry students everywhere are simultaneously groaning and forwarding this to their study groups.

The perfect visual representation of light dispersion physics! The reporter stands calmly as "sunlight" approaches from one side, then BAM—the prism works its refractive magic and transforms that single beam into a spectacular rainbow running in multiple directions. Just like in your high school physics class, except way more dramatic. This is basically what Sir Isaac Newton would've posted if he had Instagram in 1672. The "GETTING READY FOR ALIENSTOCK" caption just makes it even better—because nothing says "I understand the electromagnetic spectrum" quite like preparing for an alien festival in the desert.