How Should I Cut Fruits Now?

The kitchen: where nuclear physics goes to die! This poor kid spent years terrified of accidentally triggering Armageddon while cutting an apple. Like their knife was somehow the world's most dangerous particle accelerator. "Mom, I can't make a sandwich—I might destroy Cincinnati!" The beautiful irony is that you'd need equipment worth billions and a PhD in nuclear physics to split an atom, but here they were, wielding a butter knife with the caution of someone disarming a bomb. The childhood fear scale: monsters under the bed (3/10), the dark (5/10), inadvertently causing nuclear holocaust while making fruit salad (11/10).