Einstein's Romantic Equations

Someone's about to get a crash course in Newton's Third Law! This gym genius has chained a weight plate to his waist while running on a treadmill. For every action (him running forward), there's about to be an equal and opposite reaction (that weight yanking him backward when the chain goes taut). Physics doesn't care about your gains, bro—it's gonna win this tug-of-war every time. Natural selection at work in the natural habitat of bad ideas.

The mighty Atlas of physics! That single electron shouldering the burden of all human civilization is the unsung hero of existence. Without these subatomic workhorses, we'd literally fall apart faster than my funding applications. The electron—weighing about 0.00000000000000000000000000091 kg—supports everything from your smartphone to your neural activity. Talk about an efficiency model we should all aspire to! Next time you're complaining about your workload, remember this little negative particle carrying the weight of human existence while being roughly 1/1836 the mass of a proton. No wonder it looks tired.

Introducing the perfect board game for theoretical physicists! The rules? What rules? Just like how physicists come up with new theories to explain the universe, you get to invent the game as you play! Buy the Heisenberg Property where the price is either really cheap or astronomically expensive—you won't know until you observe your bank account! Land on the Quantum Tunneling square and teleport through that hotel wall without paying! And don't forget about the Schrödinger's Jail—you're simultaneously in AND out until someone rolls the dice! The best part? When you're losing, just introduce a new fundamental constant to turn things around!

The electrical Wild West showdown we never knew we needed! This meme brilliantly personifies Ohm's Law (V=IR) with adorable characters. Volt and Current are locked in an eternal tug-of-war, while Ohm plays sheriff, keeping them in check with his lasso (Amp). It's basically the physics equation come to life as a standoff between fundamental electrical properties. The resistance (Ohm) is literally controlling the relationship between voltage and current! Whoever created this deserves a Nobel Prize in Meme Physics.

This flowchart is what happens when career counselors have a mental breakdown. Engineering? Only if you're "good with things." Chemistry? Congratulations on your future as a "fussy pedant." And let's not forget Computer Science, perfect for those who prefer "slow, indirect evil" over the more efficient varieties. The beautiful part is how it nails the existential crisis of every STEM student. "Why do you want to major in a STEM field?" Options include "curiosity" (adorable), "to save the planet" (delusional), or my personal favorite, the dawning realization that STEM was supposed to involve actual plants for Biology majors. After 30 years of teaching, I can confirm this is approximately 87% accurate. The missing 13% is the path where you choose your major based on which department has the least uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

Behold the three horsemen of physics education nightmares! The first dragon uses proper SI units. The middle one just made up "electronvolts" as a mass unit (it's actually energy, you heathens). And the derpy one on the right? That's every physics textbook problem ever written. "If a dragon weighs 150,275,558,367 toes..." Because apparently metric is too mainstream for American textbooks. Next problem: calculate how many football fields of frustration this causes per student squared.