All My Homies Hate Ben Franklin

Finally, Apple's "distinctly great" calculator has arrived! Just $999 for a device that visualizes projectile motion with stick figures playing ping pong. The formula at the bottom is literally just the standard projectile motion equation that every physics student has written a thousand times. But hey, it has an Apple Pencil, so clearly it's revolutionary! Next innovation: discovering gravity exists, but making it 30% thinner than Newton's version.

The fastest way to get blocked on a dating app? Mansplain physics to someone who never asked! This guy really thought he found the perfect pickup line by explaining how your mass stays the same in space but your weight changes due to lack of gravity. Nothing says "swipe right" like unsolicited physics lessons about how you'll technically weigh 0 kg in microgravity! The woman's response is the universal language for "thanks for the lecture I never requested." Pro tip: save the gravitational force equations for at least the third date!

From "can't come over" to "on my way" faster than the speed of light! 🚀 This math joke is pure genius! When someone says they can't visit because they're "linearly independent" (meaning their vector spaces don't overlap), all it takes is one "parents aren't home" to trigger a vector projection. Suddenly they're calculating the fastest route over! In linear algebra, projection is literally mapping one vector onto another's direction. Here, our math nerd went from "we have nothing in common" to "let me project myself right into your vector space" real quick! Even the most independent variables have their breaking points!

Physics students know the golden rule: c is the speed of light and it's CONSTANT. It's the ultimate cosmic speed limit! But this meme shows Einstein's reaction when someone dares to treat it as a variable. First he's concerned, then he's like "ACTUALLY, that's brilliant!" In E=mc², changing c to 2c would quadruple your energy (since it's squared). Einstein's having that eureka moment - "Wait, if we could somehow double the speed of light, we'd get FOUR TIMES the energy!" Too bad it breaks his own theory of relativity. That's the ultimate physics prank - messing with constants that shouldn't be messed with!

Oh look, Google says a proton is about 1/50th of an inch—roughly the size of a pinpoint! That's only off by a factor of 10 trillion trillion . A proton's actual diameter is around 0.8 femtometers (10 -15 meters), not half a millimeter. This is like claiming your coffee molecule is the size of Manhattan. Next time your undergrad says "but I read it on Google," remember this gem. And they wonder why I drink during office hours.

Physics students have nightmares about this equation stalking them. The Coulomb constant (1/4πε₀) is basically the mathematical boogeyman of electrodynamics - it shows up in every electric field calculation like that one relative who appears at every family gathering uninvited. And just like Spider-Man can't escape his responsibilities, physicists can't escape this constant. It's the universal conversion factor between "I understand electricity" and "Dear god, why did I choose this major?"