Tier list Memes

S-tier is reserved for the absolute workhorses of analytical chemistry—IR, GCMS, XRF, SEM, and MALDI-TOF. These are the instruments that make you look like a genius when they actually work, and cost more than a small house when they break. Then we've got A-tier with LCMS and Nanodrop, which are still incredibly powerful but somehow slightly less glamorous. B-tier features the reliable middle children: HPLC, NMR (which honestly deserves higher but probably got downgraded for making chemists wait 3 hours for a spectrum), pH meter, DSC, MTP reader, flow cytometry, and ICP-MS. C-tier is where things get spicy—UV-VIS, GC, and literally just "Smell" as an analytical technique (which, let's be real, organic chemists rely on way too much). Also TLC, AAS, and CE are here, probably because they're effective but nobody's writing home about them. F-tier? Just titration. Sitting alone in analytical chemistry jail. The disrespect is palpable, considering titration is what got most of us through freshman chemistry. But compared to shooting lasers at samples or ionizing molecules, yeah, manually dripping liquid from a burette does feel a bit medieval.

The absurdity of finding Oganesson in a bedroom is what makes this hilarious! Oganesson (Og) is element 118 - the heaviest known element on the periodic table with a half-life of less than a millisecond. Scientists have only ever created a few atoms of it using particle accelerators and specialized equipment costing millions of dollars. Meanwhile, this person casually ranks it in their bedroom tier list like it's just hanging out between their PlayStation and laundry hamper. That would be like saying "yeah, I keep my pet black hole in the sock drawer" - physically impossible and utterly ridiculous for anyone with even basic chemistry knowledge!

Someone's been licking the periodic table again. Apparently polonium has that distinctive "tastes like cancer" bouquet, while alkali metals go "kaboom" on the tongue. The noble gases? "Delightful" aroma, naturally. This is what happens when chemists work through lunch. For the record, calcium and gold being categorized as "yummy" explains why your expensive supplements and fancy desserts both leave that metallic aftertaste. And those synthetic elements at the bottom? They don't count because they're man-made, but they'd give you cancer anyway. Science is just spicy cooking with extra steps.

The only tier list that comes with a side of radiation poisoning and a hospital stay. Top tier has all the radioactive elements because apparently cancer has a distinctive flavor profile. Meanwhile, calcium and gold are "yummy" - which explains why medieval alchemists kept trying to eat their experiments. The alkali metals are labeled "kaboom" because nothing says delicious like a violent reaction with your saliva. And let's appreciate the honesty of "I don't feel so good" tier - mercury and lead are indeed mood killers. Pro tip: if you're wondering whether something from the periodic table is edible, the answer is almost always "please don't." This is basically the chemistry version of those "forbidden snack" memes, except following this guide would actually end your subscription to living.