Purification Memes

Just another day in the lab, hunting down those pesky chemical compounds. First, I kick out all the unwanted molecules like they're crashing my party. But acetone (C₃H₆O), hexane (C₆H₁₄), and that vitamin E derivative (C₁₀H₄₀)? Those get VIP treatment. Then I zero in on acetone with microscopic precision because that solvent and I have unfinished business. Finally, I bring out the big gun—literally—to introduce some H₂O to the equation. Nothing says "successful synthesis" like sniping your target compound with a water molecule. Graduate school never prepared me for how much chemistry resembles a tactical operation.

Behold the mythical creature of analytical chemistry labs everywhere! Column chromatography—the technique where you separate compounds by letting them travel through a stationary phase at different speeds—has created its own subspecies of scientist: the obsessed "Coloomner." What we're witnessing is the lab equivalent of a gym bro, but instead of protein shakes, it's chloroform fumes. That right arm isn't from lifting weights—it's from cranking that column stopcock for hours on end, collecting fraction after fraction while muttering "just one more pure compound" under their breath. The truly magnificent part? Despite purifying 1000+ compounds, our hero has no idea what they actually are. Who needs structural analysis when you can just admire those beautiful colored bands separating down your silica gel column? Recrystallization? That's for chemists who actually want to finish their PhD this decade.