Fifth dimension Memes

Popular Mechanics has officially jumped the shark with their groundbreaking report on interdimensional travel. "Scientists Are Pretty Sure They Found a Portal to the Fifth Dimension" - followed by "It's probably in this weird particle." Sure, and my coffee mug contains a wormhole to Andromeda. Theoretical physics has been reduced to clickbait headlines from December 2024 that haven't even happened yet. The only fifth dimension I'm interested in is the band that sang "Age of Aquarius." At this point, Professor Farnsworth's sentiment about not wanting to live on this planet makes perfect sense - especially when our scientific journalism has devolved into "weird particles" and portals conveniently located in the woods like some discount IKEA furniture.

Theoretical physicists skipping the 4th dimension like it's a hotel floor in Asia is peak academic chaos. The author's like "We'll use x 5 for the 5th dimension and just pretend 4 doesn't exist because... reasons!" Then has the audacity to acknowledge this creates confusion but basically shrugs it off with "hopefully context will save us." This is the mathematical equivalent of building a house and labeling the floors G, 1, 2, 5 while mumbling "everyone will figure it out." No wonder string theorists can't agree on anything when they're out here playing interdimensional hopscotch with their indices!