Consumer Memes

Posts tagged with Consumer

So Many Poor Souls Got Jebaited

So Many Poor Souls Got Jebaited
The laws of thermodynamics aren't just suggestions, they're non-negotiable cosmic rules. These "portable air conditioners" without exhausts are basically fancy fans that blow the same hot air around your room while extracting money from your wallet. Heat doesn't just disappear—it needs somewhere to go. It's like trying to cool your house by opening the refrigerator door. The marketing department might have skipped physics class, but physics never skips a day of work.

Could This Be Apple's Next Screw Head?

Could This Be Apple's Next Screw Head?
Behold! The next evolution in Apple's "planned obsolescence" strategy - a screw that requires you to buy a $299 "Apple Certified Screwdriver Pro" with a proprietary head shape. Because regular screws are just too mainstream for the company that made you throw away all your headphones. Next up: Apple will patent the circle and charge licensing fees for wheels.

Military Grade™ Marketing Magic

Military Grade™ Marketing Magic
The magical transformation of a 50-cent production increase into "AVIATION MATERIAL" and "Aluminium and Magnesium Alloy Forging" is the marketing equivalent of turning lead into gold. Except in this case, it's turning a plastic bottle opener into aerospace engineering. Companies slap "military grade" on anything these days when the military's actual procurement standard is "whatever costs exactly $0.50 more than the absolute minimum required to not immediately disintegrate." Next time you see "military grade," just remember it translates to "we spent an extra two quarters on this thing."