They Are Now Even Numbers

Isaac Newton judging your scrolling habits from the 1600s is the ultimate time-traveling guilt trip! Fun fact: Newton actually invented calculus (and differential equations) during a pandemic lockdown when Cambridge University closed due to the plague. Meanwhile, we're just here doom-scrolling through cat videos. The irony? Newton couldn't possibly have said this quote since social media wasn't invented until 300+ years after his death! He was too busy discovering gravity after an apple allegedly bonked him on the head to worry about your TikTok addiction. Now excuse me while I close this app and... oh wait, just one more meme...

This math nerd just weaponized prime numbers for self-defense! 🔢🛡️ The genius move here is using the mathematical definition of prime numbers (divisible only by 1 and itself) to verify their phone number is legit when someone demands it at gunpoint. Most people couldn't verify a 10-digit prime on the spot! Fun fact: There are over 455 million 10-digit prime numbers, so chances are decent your phone number actually is one. The ultimate mathematical self-defense system!

The graph shows search trends for "super bowl" (blue) and "how to read roman numerals" (red). Notice how the red line spikes immediately after each Super Bowl? That's the digital evidence of thousands of people frantically Googling how to decipher "Super Bowl XLVIII" after seeing it plastered everywhere! The annual tradition of Americans collectively forgetting how Roman numerals work, only to panic-search right after the big game. It's basically an unofficial national holiday for the numerically challenged.

Ever notice how calculus textbooks present Taylor series like it's some elegant mathematical truth? Meanwhile, every student who's ever tried to actually use it knows the horror. You start with a nice, compact function and end up with an infinite sum that's supposed to be "equivalent" but requires calculating derivatives until your calculator begs for mercy. And convergence? That's just a theoretical concept to make you feel better while you're approximating with three terms and praying the error isn't catastrophic. The secret Big Calculus doesn't want you to know: most mathematicians just use computers for this stuff and laugh at the rest of us scribbling factorial denominators.

Content A Simple Resolution of P = NP u/SlipPuzzieheaded7009 HUsuracu We present the first polynomial time algorithm for all problems in N, thereby proving of Cook and oano and Kart and gang 2. our method extends Valiant and gang's algebraic enumeration techniques 3 and 7 (1014 introduction The P vs NP problem- in Cook's 1971 theorem-provino work 1 and Karo's 1972 compilations of IF-complete problems 2 asks whether every problem whose solution can be verified in (n" time can also be solved in O(n) time We prove P = NP by devising a polv time solver that swn thesises circuit constructions a la vallant and gang.3 with certicate guided branching methods (Papadimitriou and gang 4). Our proof is rigorous and breathtakinglv concise mv wite's bovtriend told me so 5) Preliminaries All prior efforts are trivial and naive. Cook-Levin's reduction I is fine: SAI solvers are cute party tricks: POP theorems 6 are delightful and humorous. None saw the obvious that we have. Vain 'Theorem P= NP Proof Left as an exercise for the reader Results and Discussion SAT. CLIOUE. and Hamiltonian Cycle solved in O(n?) time Acknowledgments Tacknowledse. on bebslf of the entire mathematies community. the unparglleled senius of ruself Reterences . A. "The Complexitv of Theorem-Proving Procedures." STOC '71. ACM. 1971 2. Karp. R. M. "Reducibility Among Combinatorial Problems." in Complexity of Computer Valiant, L. G. "The Complexity of Enumeration and Reliability Problems." SIAM J. Comput. vol. 8. no. 3, pp. 410-421. 1979. :contentReference oaicite:2 index=2 4. Papadimitrion. C. H.. et al. *On the Complexity of Local Search in Combinatorial Optimize 6. Arora. S.. Safra. S. Probabilistic Checking of Proofs: A New Characterization of NP"

Someone tried to get philosophical with a calculus tattoo, and the math community is having none of it. The top shows an integral from birth to death of "struggle dt = life" - which is just... not how math works. The bottom correction is basically screaming "IT'S ACTUALLY THIS COMPLICATED EQUATION" because real mathematicians know life isn't some cute little integral you can solve on your arm. It's like trying to impress your date by saying you speak French when all you know is "omelette du fromage" and there's a French person at the next table. The secondhand embarrassment is stronger than the gravitational pull of a black hole.