Rookie Mistake

Rejecting biology, chemistry, and physics in favor of ancient mathematics? That's peak nerd hierarchy right there! The Pythagorean cult would be so proud. While other sciences were still figuring out what elements made up the world, mathematicians were already proving theorems that still hold true today. Nothing says intellectual flex like preferring a discipline where 2500-year-old proofs remain undefeated. The square on the hypotenuse will always equal the sum of squares on the other sides - no matter how many new elements we discover!

The eternal academic hierarchy, displayed in its natural habitat: a Venn diagram. Physicists claim they "can get laid," mathematicians "mock engineers," and engineers... well, they "can't win a Nobel Prize." The central punchline reveals the one thing uniting these feuding disciplines: everyone agrees they're "better than chemists." The scientific equivalent of siblings fighting over who gets to sit in the front seat, except with more equations and fewer Nobel Prizes for engineers. Just another day in the STEM family dysfunction.

Two Princeton grad students spent five years developing a legitimate mathematical algorithm for the sole purpose of publishing a paper with a name that sounds like a profanity. The academic equivalent of carving your initials into a desk, except it required a PhD and got published in a peer-reviewed journal. Somewhere, a research grant committee is quietly sobbing into their coffee.

That moment when the Schrödinger equation is simultaneously the most beautiful and most confusing thing you've ever seen. Physics students spend years staring at this quantum mechanics masterpiece, pretending to understand it while their brains quietly melt. The equation describes how quantum particles exist in multiple states until observed, which is basically how students exist in a state of both understanding and complete confusion until exam day forces a collapse into pure panic. Even after the 69th review, you're still wondering if the wave function is laughing at you personally.

The grim reaper just delivered the most mathematically savage burn in history. Multiplying by zero? Easy—you get zero. But dividing by zero? That's literally undefined in mathematics—an operation so forbidden it crashes calculators and opens black holes in spreadsheets. The joke is brilliantly morbid: if your age equals an undefined mathematical impossibility, you're essentially... not alive. It's the mathematical equivalent of saying "you don't exist." Death really knows how to weaponize number theory!

The man who revolutionized physics couldn't figure out the formula for a date! Poor Newton was too busy discovering gravity to experience any romantic attraction. While he calculated the universal forces between masses, the force between him and potential partners remained at zero. The punchline about calculus is brutally funny because Newton literally invented a mathematical system that changed the world, but apparently couldn't integrate anyone into his personal life. Talk about opportunity cost! His brilliant mind was probably too occupied with falling apples to notice falling in love. Historical note: While Newton did indeed invent calculus (simultaneously with Leibniz), he actually died celibate by choice, dedicating his life entirely to science and mathematics. Still, the mathematical burn is absolutely savage.