Parkour Mothership: MATLAB Edition

Behold the human aging function expressed as body angle! At 45, this gentleman has achieved a perfect 45° lean against the wall—following the mathematical identity where age = angle. The physics here is impeccable: as his center of gravity shifts forward with age, he compensates with increasingly horizontal posture. By age 90, he'll achieve perfect perpendicularity to gravity, essentially becoming a human shelf. Newton would be proud of this creative interpretation of his laws. The real question: will he achieve quantum tunneling through the wall at age 180?

The ultimate mathematical tragedy: buying a book about "The Largest Known Prime Number" only to have it immediately rendered obsolete by a new discovery. This poor soul just purchased what's essentially a mathematical history book now! The new Mersenne prime (2 13627984 -1) took six years to discover using specialized GIMPS software and GPUs, making this book buyer's timing spectacularly unfortunate. Nothing says "money well spent" like owning documentation of the second-largest known prime number.

Behold! The elusive "grambulation" operation - where the diamond symbol means "follow the path between numbers on the grid!" Looking at the examples: 1◊9=25 because there are 25 steps between 1 and 9 on this sneaky number spiral. Math pranksters have outdone themselves this time! The pattern continues for all examples: 97◊33=29 (29 steps), 23◊44=73 (yep, 73 steps), etc. It's like playing "connect the dots" but with numbers and calling it revolutionary mathematics. Next April Fools, I'll be introducing "triangulation" - the art of measuring how triangular your professor's beard is!

Whoever made this is playing 4D calculus chess! The top shows integration (∫f(x)dx), which literally brings functions together into a unified whole. The bottom shows differentiation (dy/dx), which breaks functions down into their rate of change components. So "disintegration" is actually the perfect opposite of integration! Math nerds everywhere are simultaneously groaning and secretly updating their personal lexicons. Next time your calculus professor asks about derivatives, just say "I'm disintegrating this function" and watch their soul leave their body.

The eternal academic rivalry illustrated with brutal honesty! Physics and math majors both lead to the same destination—unemployment with a superiority complex—but they'll fight to the death about whose path is more elegant. Meanwhile, the cow (representing normal people with practical degrees) just watches these two branches of theoretical knowledge duke it out while quietly enjoying stable employment. The irony? Both majors can explain the universe but can't explain how to pay rent without roommates!

The unbridled enthusiasm of SpongeBob for Bernoulli's equation is every fluid dynamics student after finally understanding that magical formula. The equation (P+½ρv²+ρgz) describes how pressure, velocity, and height relate in flowing fluids—basically the reason airplanes fly and your shower gets weaker when someone flushes. The "twenty pipes" reference is pure engineering student fantasy—finally getting to apply theoretical knowledge to real plumbing systems! It's that rare moment when complex math suddenly clicks and you want to solve ALL the problems, even if your friends look at you like you've lost your mind.