Don't Blame Her. Fermat Made The Same Conjecture

This is what happens when mathematicians get bored on Twitter! The post brilliantly maps profanity onto complex number theory, suggesting that expletives follow the same structure as mathematical fields. "Fractional f-words" would be like 0.5 expletives, "absolute f-words" imply both positive and negative versions (just like |-5| = |5| = 5), and "imaginary f-words" parallel the imaginary numbers like i . The reply adds a delightful correction about norm spaces and isomorphisms that's peak math-nerd pedantry. Next time someone swears, just ask if they're using the real or imaginary component of their expletive field.

The calculus is strong with this one! Left side shows a summation (discrete chunks) representing how most of us hack away at potato peeling like barbarians. Right side shows a smooth integral (continuous function) representing how moms achieve that perfect, unbroken spiral peel that somehow stays intact from end to end. Mathematically speaking, as the number of potato chunks approaches infinity, your technique should theoretically converge to your mother's perfection. But we all know that's a limit that exists only in theory—just like your plans to finally use that calculus degree.

The perfect mathematical representation of why I'm still single. My dating life follows a predictable cycle with the deterministic precision of a well-defined algorithm. The moment I mention my research on non-commutative algebraic geometry, I can literally calculate the escape velocity of my date to the nearest millisecond. My colleagues suggested I try not mentioning math until the third date, but that would require getting to a third date, which remains a theoretical construct.

The quadratic formula reimagined for people who slept through algebra! Let's decode this masterpiece: -b (bee) + √(box) - 4ac (four air conditioners) all over 2a (Duracell battery). Solving for x has never been so refreshingly cool. Students who couldn't remember the formula are now installing AC units in their dorm rooms hoping for mathematical enlightenment. Meanwhile, professors everywhere are questioning their life choices. Next semester I'm just going to teach with household appliances and see if anyone notices.

Behold! The perfect excuse for maximum laziness has been discovered in advanced physics! The student shows mom a Lagrangian Mechanics textbook that literally states "Nature is lazy" (it's actually about the principle of least action - where systems naturally follow the path of minimum energy). If the fundamental laws of the universe demand efficiency, who are we mere mortals to question 14-hour naps and Call of Duty marathons? It's not procrastination - it's just physics in action! 🧪💤

The initial joy of hearing "only one question on the exam" transforms into pure terror when that question involves integrating √(tan x) dx! That's not a question—it's mathematical warfare! Even seasoned calculus veterans break into cold sweats facing this monstrosity. No wonder the bottom panel shows someone ready with both a prayer and an exorcism! Some integrals don't require a calculator—they require divine intervention! 🙏📐