Reject Humanity, Return To Monke

Behold, the devolution of employment! Our prehistoric ancestors had straightforward job titles like "monkey" (specialized in being ripped), "fire starter" (essential survival skill), and "spear thrower" (self-explanatory). Fast forward to modern times, and we've replaced these practical roles with "rock sharpener" (aka mindless corporate drone), "guy who tells you not to eat those berries" (middle management), and whatever the hell a "wolf tamer" is supposed to be (LinkedIn influencer, probably).

Evolution gave us bigger brains but somehow worse jobs. Maybe those primates had it right all along—simple tasks, clear purpose, no performance reviews. Just swing from trees, look muscular, and occasionally throw things. Honestly, who wouldn't trade their soul-crushing Zoom meetings for a day of being a professional "monkey with newborn"?