Tears Of Engineering: The Ultimate Sad Story

The engineering morality spectrum in its full glory! Defense engineers crying their way to the bank while creating boom-boom machines, meanwhile our water treatment chads are out here making clean H₂O and flexing with their homemade life juice. Nothing says "I'm saving the world" like turning sewage into something you can proudly sip on! The virgin weapons designer vs. the chad poop-water purifier is the engineering rivalry we didn't know we needed. One creates destruction, the other creates the very essence of life itself. *chef's kiss*

The eternal struggle of STEM students captured in perfect meme format! On the left, we have the skeletal, barely-alive business major bragging about their 3.87 GPA while their soul has clearly left their body. Meanwhile, the engineering student with their measly 2.6 GPA looks like an absolute chad—fully bearded, well-adjusted, and somehow thriving despite being crushed by differential equations and thermodynamics at 2AM. The engineering curriculum is basically academic hazing with equations. Those partial derivatives and material stress calculations don't care about your sleep schedule or social life. The business major is studying "supply and demand" while engineers are calculating how many tears per hour they can produce before dehydration sets in.

Rest? What is this "rest" you speak of? Software engineers during lockdown were like electrons in an excited state—they just couldn't relax to a lower energy level! While everyone else was baking sourdough, these code-crunching creatures were hunched over laptops, battling deadlines that mysteriously multiplied faster than bacteria in a petri dish. The only difference between pre-lockdown and lockdown for them? The commute from bed to desk got shorter by approximately 37 seconds. Their caffeine consumption, however, increased by 254%—I've done the calculations, and the math checks out!

Mom accidentally discovers the truth about those mysterious daily "stand-up" meetings in tech! What she thought was her kid practicing comedy routines is actually the sacred engineering ritual of daily scrum meetings! The ultimate collision between parent surveillance and modern work culture - where engineers aren't telling jokes, they're just explaining why that bug is still not fixed for the fifth day in a row. Next time you're in a stand-up, remember your mom thinks you're working on your tight five for Comedy Central!

Behold the modern tech job seeker's origin story! Our hero Adam makes the ULTIMATE career pivot by *checks notes* getting an LED to blink on an Arduino. Next stop? Becoming a self-proclaimed embedded systems expert on LinkedIn faster than you can say "Hello World"! The beautiful part? That single blinking LED project - literally THE tutorial everyone starts with - has somehow transformed into mastery of microcontrollers, AVR, and the entire programming universe. This is the equivalent of making toast once and adding "professional chef" to your resume. Pure job-hunting alchemy!

The engineering devolution is real! In 1969, engineers were calculating rocket trajectories to the moon using nothing but slide rules—actual analog computing devices requiring genuine mathematical skill. Meanwhile, modern engineers are double-checking that 2+2=4 on their fancy calculators during exams. This hits different when you realize the Apollo guidance computer had less processing power than a modern kitchen toaster. Those NASA nerds were doing orbital mechanics BY HAND with logarithmic scales while we're out here with supercomputers in our pockets getting basic arithmetic wrong. The slide rule engineer's confidence vs. the calculator-dependent engineer's uncertainty is the perfect metaphor for how technology sometimes makes us dumber even as it gets smarter. The ultimate "we don't make 'em like we used to" of STEM fields!