Corporate Rainbow Warriors

The classic expanding brain meme takes on nuclear energy's PR problem! Starting with the primitive "nuclear is dangerous" fear-brain, we evolve through the realization that it's actually low-carbon (big brain time), then discover it's statistically safer than coal (galaxy brain), before reaching full nuclear enlightenment. Fun fact: Nuclear energy has the lowest mortality rate per terawatt-hour of any major energy source—even lower than solar and wind when accounting for installation accidents. The final transcendent brain doesn't even need text—it just radiates pure nuclear wisdom. Who needs a cerebral cortex when you've got a thorium-powered galaxy brain?

The engineering hierarchy has evolved beyond mere dress codes! While junior devs stress about looking professional, senior engineers have ascended to a plane where their value is measured in code, not clothes. The contrast is perfect—a person in a bright orange suit strutting confidently through a humble environment, embodying that special senior engineer energy that screams "I've fixed too many production bugs at 3 AM to care about your dress code policy." In tech, the more essential you become, the more your wardrobe can resemble a "just rolled out of bed" aesthetic. It's the ultimate power move in Silicon Valley: dressing down while your value goes up!

Engineering students just got murdered by their own university. The tweet essentially says "avoid contact with romantic partners... unless you're an engineering student because, well, we all know you don't have any." The casual brutality with which the University of Alberta acknowledges the stereotypical social desert of engineering student life is both savage and statistically accurate. The data doesn't lie—those differential equations aren't the only things going unsolved in their lives.

This flowchart is what happens when career counselors have a mental breakdown. Engineering? Only if you're "good with things." Chemistry? Congratulations on your future as a "fussy pedant." And let's not forget Computer Science, perfect for those who prefer "slow, indirect evil" over the more efficient varieties. The beautiful part is how it nails the existential crisis of every STEM student. "Why do you want to major in a STEM field?" Options include "curiosity" (adorable), "to save the planet" (delusional), or my personal favorite, the dawning realization that STEM was supposed to involve actual plants for Biology majors. After 30 years of teaching, I can confirm this is approximately 87% accurate. The missing 13% is the path where you choose your major based on which department has the least uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

The eternal academic pipeline, illustrated with bovine precision! Engineering students think they're escaping the herd, only to discover they've traded one Excel prison for another. The real engineering degree should come with a warning label: "Side effects include becoming your department's unofficial spreadsheet wizard." Meanwhile, accounting students at least had the decency to embrace their spreadsheet destiny from day one. Both paths lead to the same corporate pasture – just with different calculators.

Engineering's greatest soap opera unfolds in your toolbox daily. That Torx head—the "fan favorite"—gets all the glory while Phillips—literally designed to slip and strip—continues its reign of mechanical terrorism. Meanwhile, the hex "normal person" is just trying to hold things together while surrounded by chaos. Don't even get me started on that flower-shaped nightmare that appears exclusively on devices you need to fix at 2 AM with no compatible driver within 50 miles. The empty square? Classic engineering cliffhanger—they ran out of ways to torment humanity.