The Flat Earth Society's Round-Trip Reality Check

The search results for "astrophysics" reveal the wild conspiracy theory rabbit hole that exists in some corners of the internet! Someone actually searched "Is astrophysics haram?" and "Does NASA accept astrophysicists?" in the same breath. For the record, NASA employs hundreds of astrophysicists, and studying the cosmos is definitely a real job (and not forbidden by any major religion). The universe doesn't care about your search history, but these questions sure make stellar material for facepalms among actual scientists who are busy calculating black hole entropy instead of defending their career choices!

Someone clearly failed Astronomy 101. That's the moon with a horizontal line across it, not a solar eclipse. The irony is exquisite - calling a full moon a solar eclipse while inadvertently creating the perfect visual metaphor for how flat Earth believers see reality: with an artificial line through it. Nature's own peer review of pseudoscience.

The meme shows someone holding a bottle labeled "5% Autism in Ether" with the caption about making acetaminophen. This is dark humor playing on the completely unfounded conspiracy theory that vaccines cause autism. In reality, there's no chemical called "autism" and you can't dissolve it in ether. Acetaminophen synthesis requires actual chemical compounds like 4-aminophenol and acetic anhydride. The black gloves and scientific-looking label are giving off serious "I'm doing science but have no idea what I'm talking about" energy. The kind of experiment that would make your lab supervisor sigh deeply before revoking your unsupervised lab privileges.

Someone just discovered a revolutionary energy source - moose walking on lime-green slippers! The real gem here is the comment claiming solar panels will "drain energy from the sun" and cause it to burn out in 400 years. That's like worrying your garden hose will drain the ocean! The sun produces about 384.6 yottawatts (that's 10 24 watts) of power, while Earth receives roughly 173,000 terawatts. We could cover the entire planet in solar panels and the sun wouldn't even notice. It's like thinking your phone charger will bankrupt the electric company. The physics understanding here is... truly stellar. 🌞

The truth they don't want you to know! Big Math has been manipulating us with π (3.14159...) all along. They created a whole holiday on March 14th just to sell more calculators and geometry textbooks. Next thing you know, they'll claim the Pythagorean theorem was an inside job and that parallel lines actually DO meet (but only when no one's looking). The whiteboard formulas in the background are clearly part of the indoctrination process. Stay woke, calculate responsibly!

First we had spherical Earth. Then the flat-Earthers came along. Now we've reached peak scientific conspiracy evolution: Hot Dog Earth. Finally, a theory that explains why global warming is happening—we're literally being cooked on a cosmic grill. The curvature is there, just... elongated. Geologists are now studying "condiment tectonics" and debating whether ketchup or mustard belongs on the continental crust. Next week: Pretzel Earth.