Checkmate, Flat Earthers

The pancreas conspiracy theorists have arrived! This brilliant parody mimics those ridiculous anti-science rants but with endocrinology as the target. As if our bodies' perfectly evolved glucose regulation system is some kind of Big Pharma scam. Next thing you know, they'll be claiming mitochondria are government surveillance devices. "Stop producing ATP! Energy was meant to be unregulated! Just eat more sugar instead of doing cellular respiration!" My favorite part? "Hello I would like HYPERGLYCEMIA please" – said no functioning pancreas ever. The diabetic community is probably reading this while giving their insulin shots the side-eye.

Ever notice how conspiracy theorists who claim the moon landing was staged can identify a rocket's components but somehow miss the entire concept of orbital mechanics ? That's like understanding how a car's engine works but insisting roads are a government hoax. The Saturn V wasn't just a fancy tube with fire coming out the bottom—it was precisely engineered to escape Earth's gravitational pull and deliver humans to lunar orbit. But sure, NASA hired Stanley Kubrick and forgot to tell him how rockets actually function.

When your theoretical physics gets so wild it starts sounding like a late-night History Channel special. "Is gravity leaking between universes? Find out after these commercials!" String theory went from elegant mathematics to "the multiverse is dripping on us, folks!" Next up: "Are black holes actually cosmic bathtub drains?" Hey, when you've spent 40 years trying to unify quantum mechanics and general relativity with no experimental proof, you start getting creative with those YouTube thumbnails. Gotta get those sweet, sweet clicks somehow!

The correlation between technology and cryptid evidence is just *chef's kiss* perfect. Despite billions of smartphones with HD cameras in our pockets, Bigfoot remains stubbornly blurry, giant squids barely show up, and UFOs still look like frisbees thrown by a toddler. It's almost as if these mysterious creatures signed a non-disclosure agreement with the universe to never appear in 4K. Next time someone shows you a pixelated blob claiming it's an alien spacecraft, remind them we can photograph individual atoms now. Maybe paranormal entities just really appreciate vintage aesthetics?

The scientific joke here is deliciously multilayered. H₂CO₃ is carbonic acid, which is notoriously unstable and readily decomposes into water and carbon dioxide. So this person is supposedly sneaking out of Area 51 with something that chemically can't exist in stable form - it's like claiming you've stolen a perpetual motion machine! The blurry image perfectly captures the frantic energy of someone who thinks they've gotten away with the impossible. Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists have been obsessed with Area 51 housing alien technology for decades, but apparently the real treasure was... basic chemistry that defies its own nature? Good luck with that unstable compound, buddy - it'll be gone before you reach the parking lot!

The ancient Egyptians had physics figured out WAY before Newton! This satirical Onion headline brilliantly plays on the eternal debate about pyramid construction techniques while throwing in the "aliens did it" conspiracy theory for good measure. The title is pure physics gold - conservation of energy means the work required to move those massive blocks doesn't depend on the path taken (assuming no friction). Whether you're dragging stones up a ramp or using fancy alien technology, physics demands the same energy payment! Meanwhile, archaeologists everywhere are facepalming at the "aliens" explanation. Those little stick figures with light bulbs for heads? Definitely not suspicious at all... 👽