This Is What Your Gene's Nightmares Are Made Of

This flowchart is what happens when career counselors have a mental breakdown. Engineering? Only if you're "good with things." Chemistry? Congratulations on your future as a "fussy pedant." And let's not forget Computer Science, perfect for those who prefer "slow, indirect evil" over the more efficient varieties. The beautiful part is how it nails the existential crisis of every STEM student. "Why do you want to major in a STEM field?" Options include "curiosity" (adorable), "to save the planet" (delusional), or my personal favorite, the dawning realization that STEM was supposed to involve actual plants for Biology majors. After 30 years of teaching, I can confirm this is approximately 87% accurate. The missing 13% is the path where you choose your major based on which department has the least uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

The scientific food chain caught in the wild! Physicists smugly smirking while biologists scream in terror at the sight of calculus lurking above. The meme captures that delicious academic hierarchy where differential equations are just Tuesday morning coffee for physicists, but absolute nightmare fuel for many biologists. Fun fact: While physicists deal with elegant equations describing idealized systems, biologists wrestle with messy, complex living systems where variables refuse to behave. No wonder they're traumatized when partial derivatives start appearing in population dynamics models! The physicists' smug expression is basically saying "Oh, you think THAT'S hard? I had to solve that in my sleep during undergrad."

A brilliant wordplay that would make any taxonomist chuckle in the break room. Einstein's theory of relativity states that measurements of various quantities are relative to the velocities of observers—hence "everything is relative." Meanwhile, Darwin's evolutionary theory establishes that all species share common ancestry—so technically, "everyone's a relative." The scientific equivalent of your uncle's Thanksgiving pun, except this one actually deserves a Nobel Prize.

The ultimate scientific heartbreak! Two brilliant minds collided but failed to bond. While physicists understand forces and biologists grasp cellular attraction, they couldn't create that elusive chemical reaction between them. The irony is delicious—surrounded by beakers and formulas, yet missing the most fundamental reaction of all! The scholarly cat's disappointed face says it all: sometimes even the smartest people can't synthesize a spark. Next time, maybe try dating a chemist?

The ultimate cellular home invasion! On the left, we have a distressed cell crying out as a virus commandeers its machinery. Meanwhile, the smug virus on the right is just chilling like "Yeah, I'm just gonna use your ribosomes like my personal Xerox machine." This is basically the biological equivalent of someone breaking into your house, forcing you to cook them dinner, then making you build 10,000 clones of the intruder before your house explodes. Talk about the worst houseguest ever!

Red blood cells have ONE job – carry oxygen to your tissues. But throw some carbon monoxide in the mix, and suddenly they're like that friend who ditches you for someone slightly more attractive. The hemoglobin in red blood cells has about 200 times higher affinity for carbon monoxide than oxygen, which is why CO poisoning is so deadly. Your cells are literally suffocating while your red blood cells are busy having a toxic relationship with the wrong molecule. Talk about biological ghosting at its finest.