Meanwhile, Bacteria Be Like: Ice Age? Never Heard Of Her

Freeze a mammalian cell and it throws a dramatic tantrum before dying. Meanwhile, bacteria stored in glycerol since the Reagan administration just wake up like "What'd I miss?"

Bacteria are the ultimate cryogenic survivors - put them on ice for decades and they'll still bounce back ready to party. Their secret? No fancy cell structures to rupture when ice crystals form. Glycerol works as a cryoprotectant, preventing those deadly ice crystals from forming inside the cells.

Next time you complain about freezing temperatures, remember there are microbes laughing at your weakness from their frozen time capsules. They've been chilling since Top Gun was in theaters and they're still fresher than your leftovers.