I Hope This Is A Myth...

Scientists out here playing god with your cone cells like it's a Friday night experiment. Human color perception relies on three types of cones (S, M, L), but apparently some researcher decided "three colors isn't enough" and started zapping M cones with lasers to create colors we've never seen before. Next week they'll be selling "Premium Color DLC" for your eyeballs. The real question is whether insurance covers elective retina zapping or if this is strictly an out-of-pocket experience.

Nothing ruins fantasy TV like having a PhD in genetics. While everyone else is gasping at plot twists, geneticists are just screaming "THAT'S YOUR SISTER!" at the screen. Game of Thrones really took the whole "keeping bloodlines pure" concept and ran with it, much to the horror of anyone who understands recessive traits and genetic disorders. The Targaryens and Lannisters would have made fascinating case studies if they weren't, you know, fictional characters busy making terrible reproductive choices. Next time you watch, remember: that family tree isn't branching, it's basically a wreath.

The cellular equivalent of self-destruction! Hydrolytic enzymes are literally proteins designed to break down... other proteins. It's like hiring a demolition expert who specializes in destroying buildings exactly like their own house. The cell is basically saying "I'm gonna create this incredibly specific molecular machine and its sole purpose will be to tear apart molecules with the exact same biochemical backbone as itself." Nature's most elegant form of cannibalism at the molecular level. Biochemistry students silently weeping as they memorize yet another self-destructive pathway.

The classic vulture bee evolutionary plot twist. While normal bees collect pollen, these little rebels evolved to harvest meat from carcasses instead of flowers. They still make honey though—just with proteins from decomposing flesh rather than plant nectar. Nature really said "let's make bees metal" and ran with it. Somewhere in Costa Rica, a vulture bee is reading this and feeling unnecessarily called out.

The academic food chain of certainty! Mathematicians live in their perfect abstract world of "what IS" - absolute truths that can't be argued with. Meanwhile, scientists are stuck in probability land with their bell curves and p-values, forever saying "what PROBABLY is." Engineers? Those practical maniacs are busy building rockets and machines that don't even exist yet! "What ISN'T YET" is their playground. But bioengineers? *mad scientist cackle* They're the chaotic evil of academia, creating unholy DNA-spliced monstrosities that nature never intended! That praying mantis-snake hybrid? WHAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN! 🧬💉

Nothing says "I'm chemically dependent on happiness" quite like permanently etching serotonin's molecular structure into your skin! That bright magenta formula is basically saying "I love my happy chemicals so much I'm making them part of my identity." The little "<3" at the end is the chef's kiss - because nothing screams "science nerd with feelings" like using the mathematical less-than symbol to complete a heart emoji. For the uninitiated, serotonin is that glorious neurotransmitter responsible for regulating mood, happiness, and well-being. Ironically, the people most likely to get this tattoo are probably the ones whose brains are stingiest with the actual molecule. Talk about wearing your neurochemistry on your sleeve!