Colossal Is Such A Trustworthy Company...

Behold! The perfect application of evolutionary biology to your career aspirations! Our ancestors didn't sprint after prey—they tracked it for hours until the poor creature collapsed from exhaustion. It's called persistence hunting, and it's literally in our DNA! Your dreams don't stand a chance against your slow, methodical pursuit. Just keep walking... walking... walking... until your dreams are too pooped to continue running away from you. Conservation of energy, my friends! Why burn yourself out in a mad dash when you can harness the power of steady metabolic efficiency? Nature's greatest life hack, brought to you by 2 million years of human evolution!

Ever notice how biology and medicine departments look like they're hosting royal weddings while physics buildings resemble Soviet-era housing projects? Nothing says "theoretical breakthrough" like calculating string theory in a building with no functioning heat and windows that haven't been cleaned since Einstein was alive. Meanwhile, the biochem folks are over there with marble fountains and probably a Starbucks in the lobby. Funding inequality in academia is so bad physicists have to bring their own toilet paper while the med school dean drives a Porsche. That's why physics departments have the best theft rates - nothing motivates resourcefulness like absolute deprivation!

The entire generation of biology students who learned from Crash Course videos instead of opening their textbooks is feeling personally attacked right now. Nothing quite says "modern education" like frantically cramming an entire semester's worth of cellular respiration from a YouTube video at 2AM before the exam. Who needs actual lab experience when you've got a guy in a blazer explaining mitosis with stick figures? I've watched students cite Hank Green in their dissertations with more reverence than Darwin himself. Welcome to the 21st century, where we've replaced dissections with demonetized content.

Teenage enthusiasm meets scientific reality check! The meme perfectly captures that moment when you first discover CRISPR gene editing and think "we're basically gods now," only to later learn about those pesky "unintended consequences" they don't mention in the TED talks. CRISPR is like that cool new kitchen gadget that promises to slice, dice, and revolutionize dinner—until you realize it might occasionally turn your carrots into sentient beings with existential dread. Sure, we could cure genetic diseases, but we might also accidentally give our descendants glow-in-the-dark toenails that play Despacito when stressed. Thirty years in the lab has taught me one thing: the distance between "breakthrough technology" and "oh god what have we done" is shorter than you'd think.

Someone taped the scientific method to a religious sign claiming "Evolution is a lie." The response is beautifully straightforward: "If you have evidence to disprove evolution... then write it down, get it peer reviewed & collect your Nobel Prize." That's the thing about science - it's not a belief system, it's a method. Disproving established theories with solid evidence doesn't make you a heretic - it makes you rich and famous. Still waiting for that Nobel Prize-winning paper though... been about 150 years now.

Ever seen proteins go rogue? That's prion diseases in a nutshell! The meme shows the terrifying domino effect where one tiny misfolded prion protein (PrP) triggers a catastrophic chain reaction leading straight to death. It's like that one weird-shaped cookie that ruins the entire batch, but instead of disappointing your taste buds, it melts your brain! These microscopic troublemakers are basically protein zombies - they touch normal proteins and convert them into more misfolded monsters. No wonder they're nicknamed "the origami of doom" in research circles!